The 7 Pillars of Resilience with Dr. Kate Lund
- panhandleorphan
- Oct 26
- 40 min read
Hello and welcome to All Things Foster, a place for coffee, connection, and community. We are so thankful to have Dr. Lund here on the podcast with us. We'll get to her in just a minute. But before we do, today's episode is sponsored by The Stretching Place. Foster parents and caregivers give so much of themselves every single day. But who's taking care of you? At The Stretching Place, we believe taking care of others starts with taking care of yourself.
Matthew Darrah (00:31.406)
That's why we offer customized, professional, assisted stretching sessions designed to help you release stress, ease muscle tension, and feel your best. So you can keep showing up strong for the kids who count on you. Ready to feel the difference? Visit thestretchingplace.com to learn more. The Stretching Place. Loosen up literally. Call them today at 806-646-5880. That's 806 646 5880. That's 806 646 5880.
Matthew Darrah (00:59.988)
again, I say this almost every week, but the Stretching Place is a great place to go and get loosened up and release some stress and things like that. So really check it out if you haven't, and then thanks again, Marla, for your sponsorship. So, Dr. Lund, thank you so much for agreeing to come on the podcast today.
Dr. Kate Lund (01:23.777)
Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.
Matthew Darrah (01:26.196)
Absolutely. I'm super glad that you reached out. I wasn't super familiar with your work. And so as I started looking into your books and the podcast and the speaking and things like that, it's a lot of what we talk about here on the podcast. Our goal in this podcast is to provide resources to foster and adoptive families that are struggling. This is a hard, hard journey.
Matthew Darrah (01:54.198)
And but personally, we have have dealt with so much struggle. and I know I talked to so many foster families that really, really struggle deeply as well. so the goal of this podcast is here are some resources to connect with, to hopefully provide something that that helps you get through and manage the stress for yourself and for the kiddos that you're dealing with. And so so
Matthew Darrah (02:23.296)
Let's talk first, why this? Where did the passion for helping families that are dealing with big heavy struggles, where did that come from?
Dr. Kate Lund (02:38.037)
Yeah, that's a great question. And you know, to be honest, it goes way back to my childhood, to my early life. When I was four, I was diagnosed with this medical condition called hydrocephalus. And that means that the cerebral spinal fluid isn't circulating as it should. And so pressure builds up on the brain. And so, I was four and I got pretty sick pretty quickly. And it was a struggle. It was quite traumatic for me.
Matthew Darrah (02:42.401)
And I think.
Dr. Kate Lund (03:04.181)
as a child not really understanding what was going on, as well as my family, my parents, right? So the good news is hydrocephalus can be managed with something called a shunt, surgically implanted little tube that kind of circulates the spinal fluid for you. bad news is that shunts break. So I spent a large part of my early childhood, adolescence really, in and out of the hospital, you know.
Matthew Darrah (03:07.02)
Yes.
Matthew Darrah (03:17.592)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kate Lund (03:30.251)
making sure that the shunt was working properly and that so that as a result I could be at my best. So I think my desire to help give back my interest, passion in what helps folks to move through and beyond challenge difficult moments really goes back to that time. So I became a psychologist. I really focused all of my time in college on preparing to become a psychologist and then went on to get a doctorate in psychology.
Matthew Darrah (03:59.128)
ummm
Matthew Darrah (03:59.746)
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kate Lund (04:00.288)
And, you know, it's not something that I share with those I work with, obviously, but it's a placeholder in my mind of why I'm doing this work and why it's so important.
Matthew Darrah (04:12.878)
You know, and that's so many of the folks that I talk to on a daily basis that, I mean, know, they're fostering because they were in foster care, or they knew somebody who, as they were growing up, this kid that was in foster care or something. They're touched somehow, and then that brings them later into this kind of conversation. And a lot of times, it's the folks that work with
Matthew Darrah (04:42.062)
families that are going through the same kind of things have that same kind of response. They've been through something and so that causes them to want to help folks that are dealing with that. So that's awesome. you're in Seattle, right? That's what she said. so you were in counseling for 20 something years, right? And then so have you transitioned completely into
Dr. Kate Lund (04:58.561)
Yes, exactly.
Dr. Kate Lund (05:07.98)
Right.
Matthew Darrah (05:12.206)
podcast and the book and things like that or are you still seeing stuff?
Dr. Kate Lund (05:16.727)
I have a small practice, a small
Dr. Kate Lund (05:18.69)
practice. do some consulting. I do a very small practice of one-on-one clinical work. Primarily, I've transitioned into writing, speaking, podcasting, course development, that sort of thing.
Matthew Darrah (05:35.054)
Sure, you can probably impact more folks by teaching others how to manage this as opposed to one-on-one. The impact can be bigger and stronger, so that's cool. So today, your big thing, correct me if I'm wrong, but you're talking resilience. Why does it matter for kids and for parents and families and how to...
Matthew Darrah (06:04.738)
how to kind of grow and build that resilience, right?
Dr. Kate Lund (06:07.745)
Yes, yeah, exactly. That's a primary focus of my books, my speaking, all of it really. And so what this is, is resilience, we're not looking at resilience necessarily as kind of bouncing back from a challenge that pops up in the middle of the day or what have you, because that's gonna inevitably happen. What we're really trying to do is help folks to develop a resilient mindset, a resilient lifestyle by integrating strategies into their day to day.
Dr. Kate Lund (06:37.675)
that help them to become resilient from the inside out, such that that's just how they define themselves and how they show up in the world. And then in essence, how they're able to move through and beyond the challenges that are inevitably going to pop up.
Matthew Darrah (06:56.622)
Sure. if you're in a scenario that's super stressful, the building of that resilience means that you can tolerate more stress without going into fight, flight, freeze, fall, and whatever it is so that you're able to stay in that higher functioning brain longer before you get set off.
Dr. Kate Lund (07:21.289)
Exactly, that's exactly what we're talking about.
Matthew Darrah (07:23.66)
Yeah, I love it. So you had a book. When did Bounce come out?
Dr. Kate Lund (07:30.605)
So Bounce came out in 2017.
Matthew Darrah (07:33.294)
Okay, okay.
Matthew Darrah (07:34.716)
So why, we kind of, I think we kind of hit on it, but why a book? Where did the impetus come from that?
Dr. Kate Lund (07:42.895)
Yeah, well, so again, I wanted to sort of start impacting folks on a broader scale. But to be honest, Bounce itself, the book, that one is geared, it's basically for parents helping them to help their kids build resilience in school, sports, and life. And it's geared more towards the younger child. Although the cool thing is that the pillars outlined in the book apply to all of us across the lifespan.
Matthew Darrah (07:47.587)
Sure.
Matthew Darrah (08:10.892)
Yeah.
Matthew Darrah (08:11.919)
Yeah.
Dr. Kate Lund (08:12.13)
But
Dr. Kate Lund (08:12.28)
the case studies, the examples given in that book are kind of the elementary age child. And that came out of me watching my own kids in elementary school kind of navigate the various challenges that would come up for them as elementary school children and noticing my mom friends and what they were kind of grappling with. And then also integrating what was happening in my clinical life.
Matthew Darrah (08:41.806)
to.
Dr. Kate Lund (08:41.902)
Dr. Kate Lund (08:42.586)
So that's where Bounce came from.
Matthew Darrah (08:46.784)
And so you, in the book, first of all, how do you, I think we kind of hit on this too, but resilience, what does resilience mean for kids today?
Dr. Kate Lund (08:57.506)
Right, and again, you know, we really want kids to be resilient from the inside out so that that's how they're showing up in the world so that when that inevitable challenge hits, they're starting from a level space and then they can kind of ride that challenge like a wave, so to speak, such that they're not gonna shut to escalate when they hit a challenge and shut down. That's really what we're trying to accomplish.
Matthew Darrah (09:23.458)
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kate Lund (09:27.426)
you know, for all of us, but from the perspective of Bounce, helping parents to help their kids develop in that way, because as we know, childhood, regardless of the angle that you're coming from, is stressful. There are a lot of challenges, a lot of things that our kids are contending with, kind of across the age span. So, you know, that's why it's so important.
Matthew Darrah (09:51.532)
Yeah, absolutely. So, you talk about the seven pillars of that resilient kiddo. So, talk us through the seven. The first one is tolerating frustration, managing emotions.
Dr. Kate Lund (10:05.474)
Yes, exactly. And that is really at the core for all of us. But from the perspective of Bounce, know, the thing we're starting with, helping kids to have a way, developmentally appropriate way to manage their stress response so that they can build in kind of strategies, tools that they might go to if they feel themselves getting stressed.
Dr. Kate Lund (10:34.254)
Really we want to help them to, in a developmentally appropriate way, practice strategies that work for them to keep them level, even, such that when that challenge comes up, they can ride it like the wave. So, you know, there's so many ways that we can help our kids to do this, right? My favorite go-to, which I teach basically everybody that I work with, is a...
Dr. Kate Lund (10:59.631)
Strategy developed by a physician back in the 1970s in Boston named Herbert Benson and he developed something called the relaxation response and it's super simple and super easy to implement and integrate into your day-to-day. I like to teach that and basically it's coming up
Matthew Darrah (11:09.23)
Hmm.
Matthew Darrah (11:20.181)
We'll fix that. Sorry. So bring it. Say that again. So.
Dr. Kate Lund (11:25.402)
Yeah.
Dr. Kate Lund (11:26.773)
So the strategy that I like to teach everybody was developed by a physician in Boston in the 1970s, guy named Herbert Benson. And the strategy is called the relaxation response. Super easy to integrate, to teach.
Matthew Darrah (11:36.727)
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kate Lund (11:44.262)
Basically what you do is you come up with a word or phrase that you find soothing in some way and you breathe. But it's focused breathing. As you're
Matthew Darrah (11:49.719)
Mm.
Dr. Kate Lund (11:54.62)
thinking of that word or that phrase. And I like folks to start with five minutes in the morning and five minutes at night. So you're kind of bookending the day. And with practice over time, you're sort of integrating what that feeling of being level is. It becomes more of your baseline over time. And it takes practice. There's no button that we can push, unfortunately. But
Matthew Darrah (12:04.642)
Yeah.
Matthew Darrah (12:12.481)
Mmm, I like that. Yeah.
Dr. Kate Lund (12:23.592)
It's amazing to see how that level foundation really does develop over time with practice. I mean, I've seen it so many clients and I use it really across domains in terms of it can be kids who are struggling with something in school, they're nervous about a test or a presentation. They can use it right before that test or presentation. know, athletes, young athletes who are
Dr. Kate Lund (12:53.188)
stressed out about a game or they're lacking confidence on the field, they can integrate it. But really that bookended practice day to day is the thing that really integrates this into our life and makes it effective.
Matthew Darrah (13:07.009)
I like that.
Matthew Darrah (13:09.511)
Okay, so that's the first step. And then you talk navigating friendships and social pressures. So where do we go from there? So we've started with the book ending of the developing that tolerance. And then we move into the navigating friendships.
Dr. Kate Lund (13:17.498)
Right, exactly.
Dr. Kate Lund (13:27.588)
Right, navigating friendships and social pressure, right, is such an important space to address with our kids, to be there for our kids if there's bullying going on or social challenges or that sort of thing. And so helping our kids to, it really comes down to build those initial skills of emotional intelligence.
Dr. Kate Lund (13:54.468)
understanding ourselves in social situations, understanding how our way of interacting, how our behavior is impacting not only ourself, but others, right? And really helping kids to understand that from an early age, whether it's through role play, conversation with us as parents or with teachers.
Dr. Kate Lund (14:19.73)
helping kids who are maybe being bullied or who are struggling. My focus in this, the key studies that I write about in Bounce around this have to do with my son who was very young at the time. he was at the time a San Francisco 49ers fan and we are here in Seattle. And that didn't go well with the other boys on the playground, right?
Matthew Darrah (14:45.677)
Right.
Dr. Kate Lund (14:48.352)
So, you know, he'd be proudly wearing his San Francisco 49ers jersey that his uncle gave him and the boys would, you know, shove him in the mud, you know, and mess up his jersey and tell him how stupid he was for wearing an opposing team's jersey. So that really hurt him. He was a sensitive kid, you know, and he's still sensitive. He's much older now. But helping him to understand that it's okay.
Matthew Darrah (14:58.829)
Mmm.
Matthew Darrah (15:05.517)
Sure. Yeah.
Dr. Kate Lund (15:17.843)
to feel how you feel, to like a team that everybody else doesn't like. you know, hard things happen and how can we help you to believe in yourself from the inside out and build that foundation that's going to then help you to, you know, have those moments of being called stupid for wearing the opposing team's jersey bounce off of you. And it's easier said than done, right? It's process.
Matthew Darrah (15:43.425)
Yeah. Yeah.
Matthew Darrah (15:46.783)
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kate Lund (15:47.496)
And, but that's one example, but really it also goes back to really helping kids, all kids, whether they're the bully or they're the person being bullied, to understand how their behaviors, how their actions impact others as well as themselves. And it's a really important core lesson for us to be imparting on our kids.
Matthew Darrah (16:10.847)
Yeah, absolutely. that is a huge battle, especially with kiddos from Trauma, is managing that personal belief of value and things like that so that when something happens that it doesn't cause us to go off the rails and things like that.
Dr. Kate Lund (16:33.992)
Exactly, and yeah, and like, you know, again, in a developmentally appropriate way, helping our kids to understand what their strengths are, you know, helping them to identify those strengths and how can they use those strengths in a way that's gonna help them, you know, both in social situations and otherwise, but really just at the core from the inside out, believing in themselves.
Matthew Darrah (17:02.908)
Right. Yeah, so that is such a, I mean, I'm 45 and that's a battle that I still face. I came out of foster as well when I was adopted, which is part of the reason why we have done what we've done and things like that. know, just accepting who we are. One of the things that we give placement packages to kids coming into foster care. And so every kid gets a suitcase, Bible, teddy bear.
Matthew Darrah (17:31.885)
a book, toy, and blanket, and then whatever else they need, clothes and diapers and socks and stuff like that. But one of the things that we started doing about six months ago is I had some challenge coins made out there. There's these big coins, big heavy coins, and on one side it's got our logo, but on the other side it says, I am valuable and loved. And the point, the hope, is that these kiddos are carrying these around in their pockets as a big reminder, I am loved and valued.
Dr. Kate Lund (18:01.808)
I love that. That is so awesome because it's something that they can see, they can touch, it's there, it's a reminder. And kids who are coming into foster, imagine, a lot of trauma, struggle, and would be really easy for them not to believe in themselves and not to believe in what they have to offer. And I would bet that every single one of them has a ton to offer.
Matthew Darrah (18:21.645)
Absolutely.
Matthew Darrah (18:29.655)
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kate Lund (18:29.96)
Dr. Kate Lund (18:30.261)
and to help them to see that and integrate it is so, important. So I love that. I love that coin. That's so cool.
Matthew Darrah (18:37.005)
Matthew Darrah (18:39.086)
Yeah, was was a it was just an idea I was in the Marines and challenge coins are a big thing and stuff like that and I just I just came up with this idea I was like man that would be really cool because like I say I know I've talked with and known so many kiddos and families and the struggles that we faced and they faced and
Matthew Darrah (19:00.665)
And so anyway, so okay, so we've got navigating friendships and social pressures, then you've got sustaining focus and attention. What do you mean here? What's that about?
Dr. Kate Lund (19:10.973)
Right, so that kind of goes back to the managing your emotion, tolerating frustration. As we do that and we integrate that sort of level baseline, we're gonna be more able to focus on the task and or goal at hand. So we really wanna help kids focus on, you know,
Dr. Kate Lund (19:38.13)
where they wanna go in a developmentally appropriate way, right? So this starting, you we're not talking toddlers here, we're talking sort of middle elementary up. What are their goals? know, what do they hope to do day to day as they move forward, you know, even beyond that, but it's really being able to attend to that, to believe in the fact that it's possible to achieve a goal. And you know,
Matthew Darrah (19:45.047)
Yeah.
Matthew Darrah (20:04.866)
Yeah.
Dr. Kate Lund (20:06.414)
oftentimes kids who aren't believing in themselves from the inside out aren't able to really attend to what they want to accomplish in an assignment, in a sports practice, trying something new, all of those things. So we're really helping kids here to articulate what it is they want to do and how they can get there. So setting a goal.
Dr. Kate Lund (20:35.174)
and then breaking that down into smaller achievable steps helps them to stay on track. Yeah.
Matthew Darrah (20:38.295)
Minigable pieces, sure. Sure.
Matthew Darrah (20:41.869)
Yeah, and so we're just, we're building kind of blocks here. We're internally saying, this is who I am, right? And then we're kind of developing those relationships and now we're growing in the future and saying, okay, because I have value, I have worth.
Matthew Darrah (21:03.661)
then I can look at the future and begin to see where I can go and what I can do, right? Because without that, you don't see who you are and what are you worth, why think about the future?
Dr. Kate Lund (21:10.907)
Exactly.
Dr. Kate Lund (21:19.891)
Right, precisely. And so it's so important to integrate that ability to help kids see their strengths, see what they're bringing to the mix, see their own sense of self-worth. So, so vital, absolutely.
Matthew Darrah (21:31.554)
Mm-hmm.
Matthew Darrah (21:36.781)
Yeah, mean, and then so, you know, as we talk through these, you know, what's the parents' role in these steps? mean, are they sitting down with the kiddo and saying, okay, this is what I would like for you to do. I want you to, first thing in the morning, last thing at night, you know, take a word and do this, and are they sitting through this? Are they modeling it? What is the, how are the parents,
Matthew Darrah (22:06.167)
helping with the kiddos through this.
Dr. Kate Lund (22:08.84)
Yeah, so they're definitely talking through it, you know, when the child is developmentally in that space, definitely modeling. They're showing up to connect with the child, really to form that authentic relationship. You know, and part of it also for us as parents is, you know, in a way that is, again, I've said this a lot, developmentally appropriate.
Matthew Darrah (22:15.436)
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kate Lund (22:38.03)
Sharing our own struggles and challenges is a good thing because we're showing our kids in that way that we're not perfect, but we've also had challenges and we've been able to overcome them. And here are some ways that we've done that and here are some strategies and some tools that perhaps have helped us in some way. So it's all of that, but it's really showing up in an authentic way with our kids.
Matthew Darrah (22:42.122)
yeah.
Matthew Darrah (22:46.156)
Right?
Dr. Kate Lund (23:07.376)
and working through these steps.
Matthew Darrah (23:09.441)
Yeah, cool. Yeah, I I just think it's so critical for the parents to try to be as solid and beneficial as they can be so that they can show up for the kiddos. so, I I can definitely see the benefit of working through these as an adult so that we're in a place where we can do that for the kiddos.
Dr. Kate Lund (23:39.824)
Absolutely, yeah, and it really does, you know, require us as parents to be working on ourselves, developing these strategies also, and also reminding ourselves of our own self-worth and what we're bringing to the mix and the table because, you know, it's really easy for us and our kids as well to fall into that comparison trap, right? And to...
Matthew Darrah (23:49.012)
Mm hmm.
Matthew Darrah (24:05.878)
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kate Lund (24:08.548)
lose our sense of self-worth as a result of that. really important, it's one thing that I talk about a lot, is really appreciating our own unique context and maximizing, building our potential within that context without comparing ourselves to others, which is again, easier said than done, really important practice slash habit to develop.
Matthew Darrah (24:11.744)
Mm-hmm.
Matthew Darrah (24:35.147)
Yeah, yeah, it is. I I have a journal that's developed by a guy that I've worked with here in town. And one of the first things that I do every morning is there's some gratitude statements and some I am statements. And that's the first thing that I do in this journal is work through those. And then we can look at the rest of the day. Right. And so in that.
Matthew Darrah (25:05.037)
that practice of writing out these statements of who I am and the value that I have have been really beneficial to me since I've started doing it. so, yeah, we can work through the struggles that we face, then we can turn around and help the kiddos in the struggles that they face.
Dr. Kate Lund (25:25.67)
Absolutely, that is such a great point. absolutely so much power in that
Matthew Darrah (25:29.003)
Yep.
Matthew Darrah (25:30.336)
Okay, so we are developing courage. That's the fourth pillar. So what are we talking here?
Dr. Kate Lund (25:37.97)
Yeah, so what we're talking here is, you know, to not be afraid to take that first step forward. To, you know, not hold yourself back because you think you can't or you're not good enough or any of those things. And to really push yourself to take...
Dr. Kate Lund (26:05.01)
you know, risks maybe that make sense to do things that might feel like they're not achievable, but to try anyway. And to recognize that it's okay if you don't succeed the first time out of the gate. In fact, most of us won't, right? Most us won't succeed the first time out of the gate. So it's really about not being afraid to take that first step forward and get back up.
Matthew Darrah (26:23.084)
Yeah.
Dr. Kate Lund (26:33.104)
and try again from another angle if it doesn't go the way you're hoping or expecting the first time.
Matthew Darrah (26:39.649)
Yeah, I mean, like you said, if we're talking through setting those goals, we have to be willing and courageous enough, strong enough to take that first step, to grow those goals and to be that stronger and better person.
Dr. Kate Lund (27:01.972)
Yes, and it might take some time, some trial and error. You might stand, there's one story that I tell in the book Bounce about this young girl who is standing at the edge of this sort of suspension bridge on a field trip where all the kids have easily walked across the bridge and she's petrified. And with the encouragement of
Dr. Kate Lund (27:31.507)
her teacher with the encouragement of her peers, her classmates on the other side of the bridge, she's able to, with quite a bit of time, take that first step and make her way across the bridge. you know, being able to get to that point is so powerful for kids, right? Because if they do something that the hour before, the 10 minutes before,
Dr. Kate Lund (28:00.723)
They were convinced they couldn't do, but then they do it. That's hugely powerful and hugely powerful the next time that they're afraid or hesitant to try something.
Matthew Darrah (28:04.215)
Yeah.
Matthew Darrah (28:13.279)
Absolutely, absolutely. We're building that strength and that feeling that I can do this, right? I'm worth doing this and I can do this because I have that strength and that internal value.
Dr. Kate Lund (28:27.589)
Exactly, yes, absolutely. That's spot on.
Matthew Darrah (28:32.621)
Yeah, I love it. So then once we've developed that courage and that desire and that want and then doing it, then we talk about building that motivation. What are we here? What are we saying here?
Dr. Kate Lund (28:46.803)
So what we're seeing here is essentially we want to help kids really understand who they are, develop the awareness of what are their passions and what drives them in those passions. And ideally, that's going to be coming from the inside out. So by helping kids to identify their interests, their strengths, where their passions are, we're going to be helping them to cultivate a sense of intrinsic motivation.
Dr. Kate Lund (29:16.88)
Ultimately, we know and all the research shows that, you know, while extrinsic motivation, motivation from the outside in is important, it's the intrinsic motivation that's the most powerful thing. And it's the most sustainable driver for, you know, not only us, but our kids. And we want them to experience that early on. You know, I give the example of
Matthew Darrah (29:24.149)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Matthew Darrah (29:30.081)
Right.
Matthew Darrah (29:41.886)
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kate Lund (29:45.991)
back in the day, you with the hydrocephalus and everything, I became a tennis player. I couldn't do contact sports. I couldn't do whatever was gonna put me at risk of hitting my head. So I became a tennis player and I was pretty good, you know, but I was never the best. But yet I really, I played from the inside out. I played because I loved it. I played because I truly appreciated the fact that I could be out there at all.
Matthew Darrah (29:57.709)
Mm-hmm.
Matthew Darrah (30:08.279)
Mm.
Dr. Kate Lund (30:14.153)
because I knew what it was like to not be able to be out there. And so I had some friends who played as well and they were better than me. But their passion in the moment for the game was being driven by the external validation, the trophies, the fact that their parents were saying, you're the best tennis player in the area, all that stuff. Nobody was saying that to me. But I just, had, there was this joy, this sense of,
Matthew Darrah (30:14.209)
Yeah.
Matthew Darrah (30:39.159)
Mmm.
Dr. Kate Lund (30:44.189)
joy and freedom being out there on the court. And so, you know, I'm not saying that, you know, in that time that was a better thing than what my peers were doing, but it was just different. But I do believe that that's the thing that, you know, really, you know, caused me to keep playing tennis where some of these other folks who are winning all these trophies quit when the external validation ceased, because at some point it will.
Dr. Kate Lund (31:13.342)
You know, you get to college, you get, you know, later on in your life, nobody's going to be, you know, telling you how good you are all the time. You know, the world is not a, not an easy place that way. So yeah. So I think helping kids to experience what it's like to be driven from the inside out is what we're talking about with this pillar. And it's so vital.
Matthew Darrah (31:19.351)
Right.
Matthew Darrah (31:30.967)
Yeah.
Matthew Darrah (31:34.027)
No, absolutely. mean, 100%, you know, if I'm sitting here saying, you can do this, you can do this, you can do this, and then, you know, they just take my word for it, but they don't believe it, so that if something happens and I'm not there, then they're just, you know, they don't internalize that value and say that I can do this regardless of who alls
Matthew Darrah (32:03.307)
you know, talking to me, pushing me, whatever. so, yeah, developing that, this heart of wanting to do whatever it is, whether it's, you know, be successful in school or get a job or, you know, excel in jobs or go to college. mean, you know, in Texas, if a child has been in the foster care system at any point in their life, they can have...
Matthew Darrah (32:32.525)
They can go to any state school just about for nothing. mean, they might have to buy some books and things like that. And a lot of school. mean, it's a lot of school. But something like 2 % of the kids that that's available to actually use it. They don't push themselves and go on to grow.
Matthew Darrah (33:00.685)
in that way. And I think a lot of it comes back down to that personal belief, that personal desire to grow, all those things. think that so many of them just, they just feel not worth it and not, they don't feel it in themselves that they have something to give, they have some...
Matthew Darrah (33:27.169)
they have something to do. so, yeah, having that internal motivation to do whatever it is that they're needing to do.
Dr. Kate Lund (33:37.577)
Yeah, absolutely, that's spot on. And so, wow, I didn't realize that. So it's a shame then that so many of the kids who have that opportunity open to them don't take it. And so it's helping those kids to see what they have to offer and see their ability to offer and to maximize and to build within their own unique context that becomes so important.
Matthew Darrah (33:49.319)
yeah.
Dr. Kate Lund (34:07.559)
Yeah, so, so important.
Matthew Darrah (34:09.313)
Yeah, it's crazy. So that was number five. Number six is finding confidence. So tug us through that.
Dr. Kate Lund (34:18.471)
Right, so yeah, so finding confidence is really, really important. Again, from the inside out, we want kids to believe in their ability to do things and to do them well, whatever that looks like for them, right? So it's gonna look different for all of us because we're all bringing different skills, different aptitudes, different things to the table. So we really want kids to...
Dr. Kate Lund (34:47.645)
you know, believe in their ability to do things. And oftentimes that comes from trying things that are hard. Again, same thing that we were talking about before. Visualizing their success in the moment. Visualizing their success before they're in the moment. And they build that confidence through trying things, trying again.
Dr. Kate Lund (35:16.36)
and seeing that they're able to achieve things that they didn't think were possible. And it comes down to not being afraid to try again when things don't go well the first time out of the gate. And I have a couple kids who are athletes and really their confidence has exploded in...
Dr. Kate Lund (35:44.393)
their practice of visualizing the outcome that they want to achieve. Going out there, practicing or playing in a game, correcting for the things that go off track and trying again. And it's amazing to see after a bit of time has passed, how their confidence has grown, exploded really in many of these cases. So these are the same principles that we help kids to integrate.
Dr. Kate Lund (36:13.947)
know, across domains, whether it's, you know, socially, it's in the classroom, it's on the sports field, it's in music or drama or theater, whatever it is they're doing, we want them to put these same principles into play.
Matthew Darrah (36:25.965)
Mm.
Matthew Darrah (36:29.741)
Yeah, man, I love that. Yeah, because if we have, I love how you build the steps because if we have all the things, then we can get to here and we can say, I've set that goal and now I've got the courage to step out and do that goal. And then I have the internal drive and confidence to say, okay, I'm gonna do this and maybe it works well and maybe it doesn't. And if it does, great.
Matthew Darrah (36:58.741)
If it doesn't, we can come back and reevaluate and step out there again. But it all comes back to that internalization, that internal belief that we're valuable, we have something to give and stuff like that. so I do. This is great, great stuff. mean, having that confidence to step out, just I'm going to do something, whatever the something is, you know, instead of...
Matthew Darrah (37:28.353)
You know, mean, what is it? It's this culture we're in right now where we've got, you know, 30 year olds living in mom's basement type things because they don't have this internal drive. They don't have this confidence to step out and say, okay, I'm gonna, I can do this. I can get a job. I can, you know, get a place. I can do this. I can do that. And I think it's...
Matthew Darrah (37:57.297)
not just an epidemic within the foster and adoptive world. think it's really a lot of our culture right now that even adults don't have this desire, this internal value to say, can do this and I'm gonna try and maybe it works and maybe it doesn't.
Dr. Kate Lund (38:20.234)
Yeah, exactly, exactly. the taking that first step forward, trying something is the really important piece because you mentioned the 30 year olds living in mom's basement, they're stuck most likely in some way there. They're afraid to take that first step forward. And I would bet that so many of them, if they did take a step forward, even if it didn't lead to the direction that they were hoping,
Dr. Kate Lund (38:48.7)
it's still a step forward and they can build from there. so having that belief in self that really gives us the ability to do that, to take that first step forward.
Matthew Darrah (39:01.357)
Yeah, I love it. So then once we've got the confidence and we've taken the steps, now we have to create that optimism. That's the final step. what are we, if we're talking that confidence, what optimism, what are we looking for here?
Dr. Kate Lund (39:17.864)
Yeah, so the optimism, yeah, it's a really important step in the mix, right? It's this ability to see possibility on the other side of the challenges that we're inevitably gonna face day in, day out. But to not be shut down by that challenge, to see the possibility on the other side of the challenge to...
Dr. Kate Lund (39:39.175)
know, be able to think out of the box a little bit to circumvent that challenge. And so one of the important steps that we we like to teach kids and again, all of these pillars apply to all of us across the lifespan, right? But it's called the daily wins exercise, where we encourage folks to jot down or talk out two, three, four things that went well during the day.
Matthew Darrah (40:05.581)
Mm.
Dr. Kate Lund (40:06.437)
as opposed to, know, our human nature brings us to the things that didn't go so well, the challenges, the would-ofs, the should-ofs, I should have been better, I should have done that well, more, more, you know, whatever. But if we can really practice honing in on the things that did go well, we're really gonna be neutralizing our lens, or we're gonna be moving it to more of a positive space. But really,
Matthew Darrah (40:11.661)
Right.
Matthew Darrah (40:28.749)
Yeah.
Dr. Kate Lund (40:35.219)
We want to at least neutralize it. We don't want to be stuck on that negative loop. So that really does help us to see the possibility on the other side of challenge, helps us to become more optimistic about what's possible for us, what's possible in terms of our outcome and all of it. So a really important step in the process.
Matthew Darrah (40:59.781)
man, yeah, I love that. You know, we do. I can't remember where, I there's probably been several, we feel like negative emotion way stronger than we feel positive, right? And so if we can focus on the better things, the things we did well, not bury, but overcome.
Matthew Darrah (41:26.445)
the negative emotions that we feel, then we can really start to grow and develop and do better,
Dr. Kate Lund (41:37.77)
Absolutely, yes, absolutely. That makes all the sense in the world.
Matthew Darrah (41:41.261)
That's such good stuff. So, if you had, so we've gone through the seven, what would you say is the, kind of the most important piece? If you're a foster parent out there and you're looking, I'm struggling, my kiddo's struggling, where do I start? What's the most important thing that I need to do?
Dr. Kate Lund (42:08.714)
This is such a great question and I would say unequivocally managing your stress response. So starting to practice the relaxation response, you know, or you know, there are other ways to do it, you know, but really finding a way to build that level foundation. You know, I think the relaxation response is a really simple, effective way to make this happen.
Dr. Kate Lund (42:36.394)
But then, you know, it could be some people like to throw on their favorite song. It's some people like to call a friend. Some people like to take a walk around the block, get a little bit of fresh air. The power of movement and fresh air is very, very much a thing. And, you know, it's finding a way to manage your stress response.
Dr. Kate Lund (42:57.588)
helping our kids to do the same so that we're more prepared, we're more readily able to contend with the challenges that are gonna come up and then we build from there.
Matthew Darrah (43:09.869)
Yeah, yeah, man, that's just so so stinking important where you know, the kids, the parents were all we're all struggling through through all of these different emotions and things, painful things. And so just being able to start from a place of better regulation is key. I like it. Okay, so let's talk let's talk about your podcast. It is called the Optimized Mind.
Dr. Kate Lund (43:32.4)
Absolutely, yes, spot on.
Matthew Darrah (43:39.693)
Is that right? Okay.
Dr. Kate Lund (43:40.424)
Yep, the Optimize Mind
Dr. Kate Lund (43:42.395)
and you know, super fun project and basically it's been going for just about three years now. And the goal is we're focusing on the human experience of resilience. So I interview folks across domains, interview parents, I interview athletes, I interview corporate folks, entrepreneurs, talk about, you know, what they built, how they've overcome challenge, struggle, that sort of thing.
Dr. Kate Lund (44:09.086)
But really the big idea through each interview is to get a snapshot of that person's kind of human experience of resilience. yeah, great project. I've learned so much and yeah, it's been cool.
Matthew Darrah (44:23.085)
Very cool,
Matthew Darrah (44:23.787)
very cool. So does it come out weekly? Yeah, okay.
Dr. Kate Lund (44:27.882)
It does.
Dr. Kate Lund (44:30.442)
About 160 episodes. It's available on all of the podcast platforms.
Matthew Darrah (44:35.435)
Right, right. That's wow. We, I just I launched this podcast in April. We're in the twenty somethings episodes trying to do it weekly and stuff like that. And so that's that's awesome. So, I mean, I think if folks are looking for a way to help figure out how to do this thing, how to help the kids that are in our care.
Matthew Darrah (45:04.865)
help ourselves get through these big struggles than coming and hearing and learning, listening to what other folks have done to get through, right? How did somebody in a, it's not the same, but in some similar, they're dealing with some kind of struggle and how are they overcoming that?
Dr. Kate Lund (45:30.538)
Dr. Kate Lund (45:31.279)
Yeah, it's the universal experience of struggle, right? And it's, all of our experiences, circumstances, we're all coming from different places, but there is that universal experience of struggle and hearing from others how they've navigated that, they've circumvented that is a very powerful thing.
Matthew Darrah (45:35.127)
Yeah.
Matthew Darrah (45:52.609)
Yeah, wow. Man, so yeah, so if you're a podcast listener, hopefully if you're on here, then check out the Optimized Mind. When do the episodes drop? Tuesday at what time? OK, all right, cool. So check it out on Tuesdays. Mine's drops Tuesday at 10. So yeah. And so what would you say if.
Dr. Kate Lund (46:06.478)
Tuesdays, Tuesday morning at like 6 a.m. Eastern, I think, something like that.
Matthew Darrah (46:19.522)
out of 160 episodes, is there a person that you had on that just really struck home? Like this was a really good episode.
Dr. Kate Lund (46:28.596)
Yeah, know, gosh, there's so many, you know, because they're coming from different angles, but I've had some really powerful interviews with authors, parents, parents specifically who are navigating a serious medical challenge with a child. So those episodes have been very, powerful.
Dr. Kate Lund (46:51.785)
I had a really cool episode early on in the podcast with Captain Sandy Yon, who is on the Bravo show, the Low Deck Mediterranean. And she wrote a really powerful book on leadership and helping to lead from a point of strength and how to bring out the best in folks that way.
Dr. Kate Lund (47:20.523)
And then another one that sticks out is an interview I did with a guy who wrote a book called The Moment. And he is a professor as well as a mountaineer and kind of integrated lessons from both sides of his work and experience and navigating challenges on the mountain as well as
Dr. Kate Lund (47:47.634)
in the classroom and had many really powerful case studies of how others have done the same. So that was a cool interview. So anyway, so many cool interviews and so many interesting people that I've met as I've done the podcast.
Matthew Darrah (48:04.589)
That's very cool. That is cool. OK, so let's bring us to today. You've got a new book that is sort of coming out, soft out, officially released in October. And so you can get the book on electronic download right now. So talk us through. So is it?
Dr. Kate Lund (48:11.4)
Yes.
Dr. Kate Lund (48:20.553)
Yes.
Dr. Kate Lund (48:24.158)
Yes. Yep.
Matthew Darrah (48:34.817)
Do I need to the first book to understand the second book? Does it kind of stand alone or how does it, what is the book about and kind of go through it?
Dr. Kate Lund (48:42.756)
Yeah,
Dr. Kate Lund (48:43.366)
that's a great question. So the new book is called Step Away, Keys to Resilient Parenting. And it is definitely a standalone. You can read the second book without having read Bounce and vice versa. The new book, Step Away, is really focused on how we as parents can build
Dr. Kate Lund (49:07.155)
that resilient lifestyle, that resilient mindset from the inside out. And in doing that, how can we model these things for our kids? So there's certainly a relationship between the books, but each stands on its own. And so in Step Away, I talk about the strategies related to managing our stress response as parents and talk.
Dr. Kate Lund (49:35.452)
as well about the relaxation response and, you know, go through principles of emotionally intelligent parents and how we can build those facets into our life as people and as parents. And I illustrate each point through a case study or two. And it's it's I'm I'm confident that it's it's a book with, you know, some powerful reminders.
Dr. Kate Lund (50:04.188)
It brings things that I think all of us as parents know on a certain level, but it's packaged and it's right there and it's meant to be very easily digestible and accessible so that we can just use it to optimize ourselves across domains, but really as parents. a really important point to make is there's no one size fits all.
Matthew Darrah (50:31.319)
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kate Lund (50:32.038)
It's really about being the best that we can be as parents within our own unique context, whatever that looks like for us.
Matthew Darrah (50:41.293)
Yeah, wow. So. So.
Matthew Darrah (50:47.917)
We're working through trying to figure out this hard thing called parenting. And parenting, whether it's, because a kiddo born with some major medical issue or a kiddo coming through a traumatic situation, the principles are there. The struggles aren't the same, but they're very similar, right? Because if you're stressed about all the medical bills and...
Matthew Darrah (51:17.641)
and all the things needed for this kiddo or you're stressed because this kiddo's got all these traumatic responses and things like that. so, whether whichever type of parent we're talking through, we need help managing ourselves so that we can turn around and help manage our kiddos.
Dr. Kate Lund (51:42.73)
Exactly, so that we can help our kids to do all the things that we're talking about in Bounce, right? And help them do those things effectively, build those skills into their life, kind of becoming resilient from the inside out, such that they're able to contend with the inevitable challenges that they're gonna face. And the same for us as parents. How can we...
Matthew Darrah (51:49.911)
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kate Lund (52:11.974)
Optimize ourselves, you know and it changes across developmental stages of our parenting journey and such, you know, I remember And the book is written. I read it through the lens of myself as a parent myself as in the introduction kind of a child with that major medical thing as well as myself as a psychologist and so, you know, I definitely integrate beginning kind of
Matthew Darrah (52:31.021)
Mm.
Dr. Kate Lund (52:40.786)
life for me as a parent of infant twins with my husband on the road like six days a week and kind of before I was really thinking about, I really need to focus in on how I'm gonna make myself as strong as possible so that I can give back as much as possible to the boys and how that process has kind of ebbed and flowed through developmental phases, know, very different in infancy.
Matthew Darrah (53:00.109)
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kate Lund (53:08.394)
than it is now when my boys are 18. it's, yeah, the book kind of integrates that personal lens as well.
Matthew Darrah (53:15.923)
Awesome, awesome, awesome. so, so what are some, you've got some practical strategies for overwhelmed parents. Where does that, where do we start there? How do we, how do we begin?
Dr. Kate Lund (53:31.432)
Yeah, and that's a great question. you know, might get a little bit repetitive with this managing of the stress response thing, but that's really where we need to begin. We need to find that way to manage our stress response. And really I teach everybody the relaxation response. But then, you know, it's also building self-awareness for parents to be able to notice when their stress level is climbing too high.
Matthew Darrah (53:37.675)
It's okay.
Dr. Kate Lund (54:00.074)
you know, for them to be optimal in their role as a parent and to notice that because oftentimes we're moving through life so fast that sometimes we just don't notice, right? And we just keep going and then we end up kind of burned out and not as effective as we'd like to be as parents and otherwise on the other side of that stressor or whatever has happened. So it's...
Dr. Kate Lund (54:28.926)
managing your stress response, it's noticing when things are getting to be too much, it's taking a step back and creating space. This is where the book is called Step Away, right? Not Step Forward. So we're stepping away, we're creating space for us as parents to take care of ourselves really, to focus on optimizing our own sense of wellbeing.
Dr. Kate Lund (54:57.128)
so that then we're able to, through modeling, through actual engagement, be there for our kids and help them to become the best version of themselves that they can be.
Matthew Darrah (55:11.017)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, so the so book one is really kind of focused on the on the kiddo book two is really kind of focused on the parent right as I kind of it a little bit yeah, because I'm telling you I as a as a parent of kiddos from foster
Dr. Kate Lund (55:19.559)
Exactly. That's spot on. Yes.
Matthew Darrah (55:30.253)
almost 13 years, it is hard. It is hard. the conversations that I have with so many other foster parents, one of the things that we do here on the pod, I have a resource, whether it's a book, another podcast, a counseling center, something like that, and then the next week is as a foster and adoptive family.
Dr. Kate Lund (55:34.292)
Yes.
Matthew Darrah (55:58.731)
Because we're, I say this all the time, we do better in community, And so if I can listen to somebody else's story and their struggles, then that builds that resilience in me to say, okay, I'm not alone. I am not the only one dealing with these struggles, right?
Dr. Kate Lund (56:17.706)
Absolutely, that's so important. It's that human connection, that authentic human connection and that experience, that human experience of struggle that becomes so powerful.
Matthew Darrah (56:27.789)
Matthew Darrah (56:29.65)
Yeah, and so if we can connect with others, if we can see what we need to do to help our kiddos, but then really internalize and see how do we do better so that we can better help the kids. so, I mean, that's just super powerful. I love it.
Dr. Kate Lund (56:51.476)
Yeah, that's such a great, great point. I love that too.
Matthew Darrah (56:55.583)
Very cool. So, we've talked about how your life experience kind of pushed or guided you into this kind of scenario and things like that. So, does, if I'm not a parent dealing with a kiddo with a struggle, if I'm...
Matthew Darrah (57:24.813)
If I'm a teacher, if I'm a doctor, I'm a school counselor or something, how do I step in and help those folks that are in those environments? do you talk to those people as well?
Dr. Kate Lund (57:40.459)
Yeah, absolutely. you know, the principles kind of laid out here, both in Bounce as well as in Step Away, can be integrated, again, across domains. you know, Bounce, I've got a lot of teachers integrating some of these principles in classrooms. You know, I've heard a lot of stories about that. And that's really how the book is designed. And also, Step Away, right?
Matthew Darrah (57:59.767)
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kate Lund (58:09.173)
can be optimizing ourselves as parents, but then as we're optimizing, let's say we're a medical professional or we're a teacher or what have you, as we become optimized as parents, we're becoming optimized sort of across domains, the domains of our lives. So we're gonna be able to show up better, stronger for anybody who we're working with, whether it's in a medical practice, a school.
Dr. Kate Lund (58:37.963)
you know, we're a coach maybe, maybe we're a music teacher, any of these things, right? So the books are designed such that the principles laid out are somewhat universally applicable.
Matthew Darrah (58:51.565)
Yeah. Yes, you don't have to be a parent struggling with this. You can be someone on the outside kind of looking in and still benefit from being able to see and develop and strengthen and grow those families that are in the midst of it. Right. So that's yeah, I love it. is there, would you say that technology, social media has impacted
Dr. Kate Lund (59:12.575)
Absolutely.
Matthew Darrah (59:21.131)
this whole process of growing as an individual and becoming who we need to be and how all that's, what would you say the impact of social media is on the families that are trying to work through this?
Dr. Kate Lund (59:37.675)
Yeah, it can be social media can be tough, right? It can, you know, create environment of comparison and, you know, causing folks to think that they're not good enough and seeing these amazing pictures and stories that they're looking at as they scroll through Instagram. But really the reality there is everybody's got challenge. Everybody's got to struggle and we've got to keep that in mind.
Matthew Darrah (59:40.823)
Thank you.
Dr. Kate Lund (01:00:06.429)
really important for folks, all families, all of us really, not to fall into that mode of comparing social media and thinking that everybody's got it better and really going back to the basics.
Matthew Darrah (01:00:16.215)
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kate Lund (01:00:27.317)
who we are and building within our own unique context. yeah, I mean, there's certainly some beneficial, powerful things that can come out of social media. But I think that the pitfalls are very much there and we've got to keep an eye on those.
Matthew Darrah (01:00:36.877)
Yeah.
Matthew Darrah (01:00:47.173)
Absolutely.
Matthew Darrah (01:00:47.993)
we... I would say that through the things of the world we live in today, I mean, I know every generation says, those kids today or whatever, but I would say that it's easier now to...
Matthew Darrah (01:01:09.451)
to look at somebody from far away and say things or do things because I don't have to stand in front of them and say, hey, this is you, this is your heart or whatever. And so it can be much more difficult to.
Matthew Darrah (01:01:29.613)
to kind of feel that and overcome that and not do that comparison. It is, gosh, I I struggle with this a lot of times, but I'm like, man, Jimmy and Suzy, they're doing great things, and here I am over here not, or whatever. And so, yeah.
Dr. Kate Lund (01:01:49.099)
Dr. Kate Lund (01:01:49.619)
It's a real part of the human experience, right? And so really important to remind yourselves of that and take that step back from social media at points. And again, it comes down to the awareness of are we getting too bogged down in it? And are our kids getting too bogged down in it? And that's such a hard thing too because...
Matthew Darrah (01:01:59.405)
Mm.
Dr. Kate Lund (01:02:18.835)
you know, helping our kids to regulate around social media from the inside out is really the ultimate goal. But developmentally, they're not always going to be in the place where they're going to be able to do that. So there's some oversight involved, you know, that's necessary. But there's always got to be a degree as well of giving our kids the space to start to learn to self-regulate because, you know, at some point,
Matthew Darrah (01:02:23.607)
Mm-hmm.
Matthew Darrah (01:02:26.253)
Yeah.
Dr. Kate Lund (01:02:48.447)
they're going to be 18, they're going to be in college or what have you, and they're going to need to regulate in order to be at their best, right? Because if they're always on their phones, they're not going to be at their best. But yeah, there are no easy answers there. It's a complex issue.
Matthew Darrah (01:03:06.989)
For sure, for sure. I I think it's been, I think it's more, maybe it's more, we're way more aware, I think a lot of us today, on where we are emotionally and developmentally and things like that than we were 20, 30 years ago. think mental health has become, it's not,
Matthew Darrah (01:03:36.118)
totally normalized, but it's a lot more normalized now than it was 20 years ago. so being open and honest and saying, man, I'm struggling with this and I need help. Here's a book, here's a podcast, here's something, here's a counselor that I can go to and I can help grow and build that resilience in myself so that I can turn around.
Matthew Darrah (01:04:04.427)
and help the kiddos in my care do that as well. I think it's just so important for us today to work through those things.
Dr. Kate Lund (01:04:16.555)
Absolutely, so so important. I couldn't agree more and it's true. mean, know, yes mental health is much less stigmatized than it was 20 years ago And I think it's it's people are having they're hearing the messages that it's okay to ask for help Yeah, it's vital to ask for help and it's really a sign of strength to ask for help as opposed to
Matthew Darrah (01:04:32.032)
Mm-hmm.
Dr. Kate Lund (01:04:42.909)
anything else, know, so vital to ask for help when you're struggling.
Matthew Darrah (01:04:47.053)
Yeah, absolutely. man, Dr. Lund, I'm so thankful that you came on today and shared with us. Guys, the book is called, one more time, I'm sorry, the new book is called Step Away, right? Right.
Dr. Kate Lund (01:05:06.847)
Yes, Step Away
Dr. Kate Lund (01:05:07.77)
the keys to resilient parenting.
Matthew Darrah (01:05:09.878)
Excellent. Okay, so step up and you can find that Amazon.
Dr. Kate Lund (01:05:14.452)
Amazon links are on my website as well. So either of those work very well.
Matthew Darrah (01:05:17.825)
Okay.
Matthew Darrah (01:05:21.791)
Okay, all right. So and like I said, I'll link those down in the show notes below. And so if you're interested in in in growing, growing yourself growing your ability to parent kettles from difficult situations and things like that, definitely definitely check it out and maybe even go backwards and and get the first book with the The Seven Pillars Bounce, because that sounds like a super great
Matthew Darrah (01:05:51.713)
Strategy as well helping the kiddos with their with their struggles and their emotions and then helping helping us ourselves and so I so Dr. Lund I'm I guess I'm super grateful that you reach out and that you come on the podcast to share because I think I think you're I think your strategy could be super beneficial to To families that are that are out there that are that are having a hard time
Dr. Kate Lund (01:06:17.887)
Well, I really appreciate it and I appreciate you having me because this has been a great conversation. So thank you.
Matthew Darrah (01:06:22.869)
Yeah,
Matthew Darrah (01:06:23.65)
I appreciate it guys. And so if you're out there and you're listening, check out Dr. Lund. Your website is...
Dr. Kate Lund (01:06:33.867)
Matthew Darrah (01:06:37.783)
KateLundspeaks.com And again, I'll link that down in the show notes. so check her out. You'll come and do presentations and things like that as well for groups and stuff like that.
Dr. Kate Lund (01:06:50.411)
Yep, absolutely, I do that and I do keynote talks and I'm also available for short-term consultation, that sort of thing.
Matthew Darrah (01:07:01.325)
Okay, awesome, awesome, I love it. So guys, check it out. See if there's some things that connect with you that there are a whole bunch of different strategies out there and finding the one that connects with you. A friend of mine said, what's the best diet? And it's the one you're gonna follow, right?
Matthew Darrah (01:07:27.231)
And so we're all different. We all have different ways that we internalize and develop. so whichever one fits us the best. And so if you're struggling out there and you need some help, then check it out. Check out her website. Check out her books. Listen to the podcast. I think it could be really, really beneficial to
Dr. Kate Lund (01:07:38.752)
Exactly.
Matthew Darrah (01:07:56.045)
to get another perspective on how to grow and help our families. So Dr. Kate, thank you so much for coming on today. Guys, as I said earlier, we provide placement packages to families when kiddos come into foster care. And that comes through the placement package, which is every kiddo gets a suitcase of Bible teddy bear, book, toy, and blanket.
Matthew Darrah (01:08:23.947)
and then whatever else the family needs. And so each placement package costs us about $430. And so they get those six things and then whatever else the family needs. So could be diapers and clothes, car seats, blankets, whatever they need. And then we deliver it, and we deliver it to the 26 counties of the Paint Handle. So that is about the size of West Virginia. So that's a huge area that we're covering. And there's about 600 kids that come in each year.
Matthew Darrah (01:08:53.031)
And we've got a long ways to go to get to where every kiddo gets a placement package. And the way that we do that is through folks that become a placement package partner. $100 a month buys us all the clothes we need for one placement package. $50 buys us a case of diapers each month. $10 a month buys us an outfit each month. We'll have a link down there in the show notes where you can go and set that up.
Matthew Darrah (01:09:23.161)
And so thank you so much for tuning in today. Thank you, Dr. Kate, for coming on and sharing your insights into how we can better help the kiddos and families in our care.
Dr. Kate Lund (01:09:38.71)
Amazing, thank you so much for having me.
Matthew Darrah (01:09:40.883)
Absolutely, guys. Thank you so much. Have a great week and we will catch you next time.
Comments