Building Bridges: Supporting Aged-Out Foster Youth With Casey Corbin
- 1 day ago
- 31 min read
Hello and welcome to All Things Foster, a place for coffee, connection, and community. I'm excited to have Casey on as our guest today. We'll get to Casey here in just a minute. But before we do, real quick, if you've got a teen heading towards college, I want you to check out College Solutions, LLC, and Amarillo, and their lead college funding pro, Angie Grimm. College Solutions helps families navigate the college admissions and financial aid maze.
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And guys, I say this most every week, our sponsors, our supporters of our organization and the work that we're doing. And Angie has been just a phenomenal, phenomenal support. And so if you do, you have you have college kids getting ready for college or even, you know, they're little and they're thinking about you're thinking, how am going to pay for their college? Now's the time to start. And so Angie will help you out on that. anyways, so Casey, thank you so much for for agreeing to come on the podcast today.
Casey Cole Corbin (01:28.107)
Hey, thanks Matt, I appreciate you allowing me to.
Matt Darrah (01:31.414)
Yeah, you've got some really, I think, experiences to share. so I'm just I'm glad that you're here and glad that we can talk. Our conversation today is going to kind of focus around something that a lot of folks don't really think about that we'll talk about. And that is children aging out of foster care. So that means that they've they've been in care for a while and then they turn 18 and it's like, hey, you're
you're out of foster care and now you're just supposed to go on about your life. And there are so few mechanisms for supporting kids that have aged out of care. This means that they don't have a family. They don't have somebody connected with and they're just kind of cut loose into the world. And so this conversation is just really, really important. I was looking at some statistics.
And in our area, and Casey, you might know this, but when kids age out of foster care, they have a two in three chance of being homeless within like a year. And I mean, we're just, we are not doing these kids any favors. We're just not. Yeah. So.
Casey Cole Corbin (02:46.998)
Yeah, pretty pretty sad. I'm in Georgia and you know, there's any given time About 12,000 kids in foster care 16,000 typically during the course of a year and About they estimate between five and seven hundred age out and Where do you go when you don't have a family when you don't have?
Matt Darrah (03:14.306)
Right. Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (03:17.074)
resources, yeah.
Matt Darrah (03:18.798)
Yeah, it's just awful. so let's talk about kind of where this got started for you. were going to a gym, right?
Casey Cole Corbin (03:33.655)
Yeah, it's kind of funny. had back pain and so I knew that the local Planet Fitness had these massage chairs and Aqua beds and stuff and I thought, I'm going to spring for a little bit a month for a membership there. For the first two years, I just kind of went in, used that equipment, didn't even work out or anything. I was being lazy. Two things I decided, well, one is that
Matt Darrah (03:45.09)
Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (04:03.318)
think if I actually work on my back muscles, I'll feel better. And that worked out. And then the other thing too is that I kind of, know, especially at the time I received it as, didn't hear a booming voice of God in the room or anything like that, but just this, you know, you could talk to the person to the right of you or to the left of you, you know, on this equipment. And so I was like, okay. And so I did and just started nothing big, just, know.
Matt Darrah (04:24.216)
Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (04:31.424)
just take the earbuds out for a second and talk with people or strike up conversation. And that kind of just led into an interesting group. Now, one thing that might be a little bit telling is that I would always get my family in bed and then I would go to the gym at like 11 o'clock at night. That's what was one of them. So there was like the same dozen of us there in the middle of the night working out. It really didn't...
Matt Darrah (04:50.005)
wow.
Matt Darrah (04:56.044)
Yeah, sure.
Casey Cole Corbin (05:00.278)
That was kind of advantageous, guess because we had the place to ourself and pretty soon there were some commonalities with that just kind of emerged and there is about five or six People in their 20s that had aged out of foster care ironically I really think that was providential just as far as how ironic it was that That that cluster was there and I remember one night in particular. It was now two o'clock in the morning
Matt Darrah (05:20.333)
Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (05:28.662)
And one of them was working there. So we were at the front desk and there was, we were kind of gathered around. They weren't gathered around me, you know, per se, but we were having a conversation. And, and, I, and I said, man, it's two o'clock in the morning. I got to go home. But that had taken several months to kind of cultivate those relationships. And it may, I don't really believe in coincidence. And so when I thought, good Lord, there's a lot of aged out.
Matt Darrah (05:42.478)
Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (05:57.751)
young adult foster care people that I'll at least say hello to or have some conversation with almost every night. What's this? What can I do? First thing I guess I need to say is that I'm not a foster care expert like you are. I'm not currently in the industry in any way.
Matt Darrah (06:10.19)
Yeah.
Matt Darrah (06:15.438)
Sure.
Matt Darrah (06:21.698)
Thank you.
Casey Cole Corbin (06:22.358)
I'm where I did. traded at a foster care agency. They had an office that they space they weren't using. So I traded out, got free rent if I would do some training to the foster care parents. But that was pretty generic type of thing. But by far, I'm not an expert in this arena. And I'm hoping that that encourages the listener to say, you know what, I could strike up conversations. I could begin to relate to people.
Matt Darrah (06:46.872)
Yeah, absolutely.
Casey Cole Corbin (06:49.942)
and just help them out in some casual ways. It doesn't have to be a form of nonprofit organization like you did. It doesn't have to be something quite so monumental. It can just be some conversations. If the problem is that they lack relationship, then to relate.
Matt Darrah (06:55.438)
Good night.
Matt Darrah (07:02.732)
Right, just building relationships. Yeah. Yeah. So you're having these conversations with these young adults in the middle of the night at the gym and finding out that they've aged out of foster care. Do you know, were they all like, did they just kind of find each other at this gym? Did they know each other like while they were in care and then?
Casey Cole Corbin (07:29.333)
Two of them knew each other. was, I got to say at the time, one was 22. But when he was 19, he actually invited a 17 year old who had just signed himself out of foster care to live with him to be roommates. And the rest of them kind of were ironic coincidences. They weren't connected before then. was just like, it just came up in conversation. like, oh my gosh, this is just...
You know, at that point it felt like an epidemic. There's all these young people and it was just, it really had my, as a person who's been a counselor for 28 years and in social services and teaching, it just, the, needs were just monumental. They were so needy in some ways that are so basic, to, guess the average person that, you know, I'm not spending time in foster care.
Matt Darrah (08:00.939)
Right, yeah.
Matt Darrah (08:18.392)
Mm-hmm.
Casey Cole Corbin (08:28.48)
that you just got, my gosh, where do I even start? What can I do? And so as a more life coach now, I help people to, I guess, grow up. Most of the average person I work with is someone who is in business for themselves and they just are facing some struggles and they need some mindset shifts, a paradigm in which to view
themselves, their business, their world. And I've always said, this is a little side here, Matt, but that the best personal growth program is to start a business. Maybe start a nonprofit, right? know, cause it'll, it'll, it'll pull you into areas that you, to grow that you never thought you needed to grow in.
Matt Darrah (09:04.621)
Right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Matt Darrah (09:12.91)
Yeah, that's for sure. I didn't know the first thing about running a nonprofit. We just came up with this idea to start taking stuff to kids when they're coming into foster care. And then all of a sudden, it's like we need we need a mechanism to receive donations and all this and stuff. And so it was like, well, I guess we're going to figure out how to start a nonprofit. Yeah. So then so then what what what happens then? You've been you've been
Casey Cole Corbin (09:23.734)
Beautiful.
Casey Cole Corbin (09:35.488)
Beautiful. That's awesome. I love it.
Matt Darrah (09:42.52)
connecting with these folks over a period of a few months, right? And then kind of what's next?
Casey Cole Corbin (09:49.249)
Well, as we talked, again, I'm with the listener to feel encouraged that they can do whatever they can do. For me, I kind of professionally help people grow. The most way of gauging that is monetary. So a lot of it is about wealth. in just talking with them, there's a classic book that a lot of people have read, Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki
compares two dads that he had, one was poor, one was rich, and the different mindsets that they had. And I would even say that we have a third category, we were to, if you were, I think you should do it, Matt, is there, write a book called Rich Dad Poor Dad, and the third category would be like, know, unraised. So you have these people that are unraised, and they're even, I hate to say it like this, but even lower than a poor mindset. It's the basics of life. So those kind of questions, those kind of conversations,
Matt Darrah (10:30.68)
Yeah.
Matt Darrah (10:36.269)
Yeah.
Matt Darrah (10:43.085)
Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (10:48.992)
just organically took place as we were standing around the front desk or bench pressing or something. What do do about this? And they just didn't have any kind of role model to even mentally go in their head. Well, this is something that I can do. This is a way that I can change some things. so I developed for that. On my coaching program, I have 88 courses that I created.
And so it was really easy for me to create something that I called First-Generational Wealth, which I'll offer a listener here that can have it for, it's always been free, but you can always have it for free. And the neatest thing happened, you mentioned before that most people are not aware of what I might call the after foster care crisis that we're in.
Matt Darrah (11:34.029)
Right.
Matt Darrah (11:37.848)
Yeah. Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (11:40.523)
But there are some people that are. And so I'm on some speaker groups on Facebook, and I just posted on a few of them saying, I'm looking for anyone who could speak into, want to reach out to this demographic, somebody who's aged out of foster care. It had to be incredibly basic, starting with ground zero. This is how you start to build a wealth mindset and build wealth, which is a whole lot more than just the dollar amount that's in your bank account. And I had...
Matt Darrah (12:05.645)
Right.
Casey Cole Corbin (12:08.24)
Amazing people come out of the woodwork. mean, like one of the speakers has pictures on her website with she's standing next to Dr. Phil, you know, and Mel Gibson, you know, and these pictures and stuff. And she's been a coach to celebrities and just some phenomenal, bestselling books, authors, just some fantastic people that got on and shared some very practical ways that you can start with absolutely nothing and
Matt Darrah (12:31.822)
Hmm.
Casey Cole Corbin (12:37.268)
Begin to change your your mindset and we actually saw some it was a 12-week series and all of its recorded And it saw some really neat results from that but what my heart was just the high-calibre person who was it who was aware enough of This particular crisis and wanted to help
Matt Darrah (12:58.51)
Awesome. So you created these courses for them. And then what happens now?
Casey Cole Corbin (13:09.408)
Well, the coursework stays in the ethernet, so it's available. My own, this was probably five years ago that I did it, and this probably three years ago since that kind of regular contact continued. We kind of stayed pretty tight for about two years. Now, we have occasional texts and occasional go to lunch and stuff.
That was kind of like a season in our life and I think that that might be encouraging to the listener too is that you don't it's not like you have to commit to something for the rest of your life just to relate to somebody just to to befriend somebody just to You know see a need and meet it in the way that you can what you can do the
Matt Darrah (13:59.118)
for sure.
Casey Cole Corbin (13:59.851)
The itself, as you know, is overwhelming. And so if you walk in there thinking you are going to have to fix all this, you know, it's going to be a non-starter. You'll max out and not even take a first step. But if you can just do a little bit, you know, for a season. I have another season coming up probably in the fall where I'm going to be volunteering at a really neat
Matt Darrah (14:10.53)
Right.
Casey Cole Corbin (14:26.602)
grant-funded program for people who have aged out of foster care and teach some of their, I'm gonna volunteer to teach some of their life skill classes. That might be like a once a month thing for a little while. So there's another season around the corner. Right now I'm kind of out of that season.
Matt Darrah (14:35.662)
awesome.
Matt Darrah (14:44.118)
Yeah. you're coming up on, there's kind of a moment that shifts your kind of interactions with them, right? So you're coming up on Thanksgiving at the time, So what happens?
Casey Cole Corbin (14:58.506)
huh, that's right. Yeah, let's call him Jay. He's probably the most outspoken out of the group. And I'm excited about the holidays, right? Big family, big family stuff. And Jay says, we hate the holidays. We just sit around the house and look at each other. And I'm just like,
Matt Darrah (15:10.168)
Sure.
Matt Darrah (15:16.622)
Hmm.
Matt Darrah (15:23.128)
Yeah
Casey Cole Corbin (15:25.51)
He wasn't bitter. He was just kind of like a sense of resignation. know, this is my life. I've never had that. I've never had, you know, a Hallmark movie, you know, seen in my life. In fact, he had never even had a birthday party. And so not only did the holidays, so the holidays, know, something just rose up inside of me and said, well, not this year. You're coming to my house. You know, five of them, you know, come to the house for.
Matt Darrah (15:29.174)
Yeah, just kind of matter of fact. Yeah.
Matt Darrah (15:40.366)
Wow.
Matt Darrah (15:49.292)
Yeah, right.
Casey Cole Corbin (15:53.783)
Thanksgiving and that was neat. That was, you know, I think a blessing to them and it was a blessing to, you know, my family. I have four children and what they got to do. In fact, he had his first birthday party ever at my house and my daughter made the cake. Made a themed cake. Really into, you know, Audi cars and so she put the Audi on the cake and stuff for him and that was 23 years old. That was his first birthday party.
Matt Darrah (16:19.214)
Mm-hmm.
Matt Darrah (16:22.862)
Wow. Man, it's just so sad. But a really neat thing that you get to kind of hopefully just encourage and build some relationship with some young folks that are, mean, just hard. Just hard to, you we all get excited around the holidays, getting around, eating a bunch of food and hanging out with family and friends.
Casey Cole Corbin (16:24.266)
Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (16:44.117)
Yeah.
Matt Darrah (16:52.672)
and all the things and we don't think about those of us, those that are around us that it's just another day.
Casey Cole Corbin (17:02.666)
Yeah, or even worse, you know, I mean for him, not only the holidays, but his own birthday was a source of depression. Right? You know, if he compared that to people that he knew that, you know, were excited about their birthday, he's like, what do you, why are you excited, you know, about what's there to be excited about and couldn't relate to that. And, you know, this is, as you know, Matt, not only from your ministry, but your personal experience, this is a heavy topic. I think a lot of people
Matt Darrah (17:08.963)
Right.
Matt Darrah (17:16.344)
Yeah.
Matt Darrah (17:28.32)
It is.
Casey Cole Corbin (17:31.287)
run away from heavy topics because you kind of take on some of that sadness or feel that pressure. And honestly, that was my first experience. I lived in Illinois, but I was real close to St. Louis. And I worked at Missouri Baptist Children's Home as my first kind of professional job at 21 years old. then at the time, I was a houseparent. A single houseparent average
duration of time that they would stay in that job was six months. I made it nine months, but I was an emotional burnout. Part of your job is to go into the file room, you know, as part of your training and stuff and just read files on the kids that were there. And I remember, you know, ugly crying, you know, in the file room, just because it was so, you know, the things that they had went through, the atrocities and horribleness and stuff. mean, we are talking about that kind of heaviness. Now that doesn't mean that
Matt Darrah (18:03.052)
Wow.
No kidding.
Matt Darrah (18:20.472)
Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (18:29.782)
has to get into all that kind of stuff. a counselor, so I kind of dig deep. But most people don't. But I left there in emotional shutdown. I didn't cry for two years after. That's unusual for me because I'm a crier, right? I mean, I was just as numbed because of that experience. And at 21 years old, it was a little traumatic to me. So I get it. I get it why it's just really easy to turn a blind eye and not engage. Or even worse, know,
Matt Darrah (18:39.854)
Wow. Yeah, right.
Casey Cole Corbin (18:58.934)
pull your children away from somebody who's in foster care or has been in foster care or be protective of your own self and your own bubble by not allowing those people inside. But none of the imagined horrible things that could possibly happen happened. When we had these...
Matt Darrah (19:08.45)
Yeah.
Matt Darrah (19:18.806)
Mm-hmm.
Casey Cole Corbin (19:21.61)
these young people in my house and we came over for a game night. did actually Robert Kiyosaki's book, I'm Rich Dad, Cashwell Quadrant as part of the curriculum. A couple nights they came over and you know, I had the game and we played it and I think that they learned from it. And so, you know, they were at my house for holidays, birthdays and playing game night and stuff and nothing happened. And it was limited exposure, if you want to call it that.
Matt Darrah (19:43.584)
of it. Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (19:51.599)
And it would be nice if, I don't know, I'd love to throw out a big goal out there, if 1 % of the population would be a little bit more open to that. Can you imagine just the whole flavor of the world would change?
Matt Darrah (20:03.278)
Yeah.
Matt Darrah (20:07.966)
yeah, absolutely. As a matter of fact, we were, I'm prepping some material to work with my board on some vision casting and things like that. And we were looking at numbers yesterday, some statistics. And so the region that we, the area that we serve in in Texas is the 26 counties of the Panhandle. And so that by itself is the size of West Virginia, right?
Casey Cole Corbin (20:17.599)
Hmm, yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (20:36.246)
go out.
Matt Darrah (20:36.974)
Yeah, I mean, it's a big area, right? But the so the state is broken out into what they call regions and our region has 41 counties in it. Okay. And so out of all the kids that came into foster care in the last reported year, 42 % of those kids didn't stay in the 41 county region.
of the panhandle, they were sent to another region. not only are you taken away from a horrendous situation, but you're normal. You're not even in the same school. You're not in the same zip code. You are, I mean, in another world, right? I mean, yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (21:07.894)
Have a nice day.
Casey Cole Corbin (21:15.563)
Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (21:24.106)
Yeah, that's hard.
That's really horrible. You know, the counselor I teach about stress management and there's a list of the top 100 stressors. Doctors use it sometimes, particularly with heart patients and stuff. know, if you had any of these. And moving is always in the top 10, 5 % of the highest stresses. You know, it can be a good thing. It can be, I got to go to another city and I'm going over here and I'm making more money and everything's better and all that stuff. where you, what convenience store you go to has changed. You know, where you put your toothbrush
Matt Darrah (21:34.968)
Mm.
Matt Darrah (21:49.538)
Yeah, sure.
Casey Cole Corbin (21:55.944)
up at night, you know, it changes. I mean, big things, little things. And when everything changes, just the stress that it is physically on the body is measurable. It's awful. And so, if they could, that's a really big deal that there's 41 % is moved. That's terrible that they don't have anything that is the same in their daily life.
Matt Darrah (22:15.778)
Yeah. Yeah.
Matt Darrah (22:20.782)
Absolutely nothing. Absolutely nothing. So man, so let's go back to your story. This experience with these young folks, what did that reveal to you about what they needed the most? What do you think?
Casey Cole Corbin (22:39.017)
Yeah, well I think I'm probably going to sound like a broken record on this, but if the problem is a lack of relationship, then what we need to do is relate. So, would think that the biggest benefit is not very measurable, is just that you had somebody to talk to, you had someone that you could text and I would text back.
Matt Darrah (22:45.761)
Absolutely.
Casey Cole Corbin (23:02.581)
have a phone conversation we would see each other, you know, we'd have that even if we didn't even talk it's just, know, okay, there's Casey over there, you know, on the leg lift or whatever, you know, I can go over and chat if I want to. Just having that as available again, there's nothing that I did that was special or hard or unique. It's just making yourself just a little bit more available.
Matt Darrah (23:27.662)
Right
Casey Cole Corbin (23:28.661)
And I didn't open up my whole world, you know to them, you know, there was It was a you know, here's a part, you know, here's what what here's my the limits of my time energy and resources You know, I got pretty going pretty stubborn about what I'm going to allow in my life So it become an encroachment or anything. So that was good, but these you know, just really some really neat late-night talks Because of the situation that I was in and got to see
some really neat shifts, beginning stages of moving out of that less than poor mindset into something that was even better. One of them, or the two that lived together, the older one, they worked at the same place, they have a tendency to just follow each other around, but went and saw his, it wasn't a wealth thing, but it was more of a worth thing, is that he saw himself having more worth and he went and
Matt Darrah (24:24.887)
Mm.
Casey Cole Corbin (24:28.532)
to his boss because we would have very specific conversations about what his capacity was and what he was doing. He was brilliant, totally worth more money than he was being paid. And so he got a raise for himself and he got a raise for his roommate, you I was in. And so the day that they almost came running to me, know, that night to tell me that was just like, you know, probably the pinnacle. was the highlight. Yeah. And also one
Matt Darrah (24:42.108)
Cool.
Matt Darrah (24:47.342)
you
Matt Darrah (24:53.165)
Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (24:58.282)
got some equipment.
to be able to machine some parts and set it up in their garage and started their first venture into entrepreneurship part-time. But just thinking that you can, that takes a little bit of an out-of-box thinking. You have to bridge that world with people sometimes. this is my world. This is what I do professionally, kind of day in day out is how people do that. that's what comes to mind for me if I'm thinking about helping somebody.
Matt Darrah (25:11.704)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Matt Darrah (25:19.79)
Alright.
Casey Cole Corbin (25:31.67)
the listener might think of something else, a totally different category of life, and that's exactly what's needed, isn't it? Where the body comes together and every part's different.
Matt Darrah (25:42.766)
Exactly. Yeah, but relationship, I mean, it's just so stinking important and helping them develop this idea of worth, right? Because if you, I don't know their stories, but I know the stories, right? So chances are if they're aging out of foster care, they've been in care.
Matt Darrah (26:20.009)
and you're kicked to the curb, you're on your own. And you have nobody and nothing and nobody to lean on. Nobody to encourage you to tell you that you have value and worth and you you you're you're worth more than what you're being paid. Go ask for some more money. Right? I mean, just just the.
Casey Cole Corbin (26:39.478)
All right. All right.
Matt Darrah (26:41.826)
The sense of self-worth and value that comes from that, that these guys, these kiddos, I call them kiddos, mean, you know, these young folks.
Casey Cole Corbin (26:56.022)
Me I'm about turn 60 so I mean someone is 20 thats a kid
Matt Darrah (26:58.126)
Yeah, right. I know, I know, get it. mean, the age or the line between like adulthood and childhood, like as I get older, it moves. Like I'm 45 and yeah, yeah, those 20 year olds, you know. But yeah, so just developing that relationship and encouragement, man, could just, it just...
Casey Cole Corbin (27:10.399)
yeah, yeah.
Matt Darrah (27:24.93)
warms my heart to hear the story of stepping out and stepping into a relationship with some young folks that just need someone to believe in them and care about them.
Casey Cole Corbin (27:37.984)
You know, I think probably a lot more than like maybe even direct actions that I might have taken is we got five people aged out of foster care. know, only two of them knew each other from beforehand. They came together for time and we formed a community, right? And the central theme of them all being aged out of foster care was just a fact about that community. But what I think created that was
you know what, there's other people like me. And there's other people that are struggling. And not only can I be helped by this, but I can help them too. Each member can help them too, can be encouraging. And just the fact that, I'm not alone is huge door to walk through for healing, right? Just that sense of agency, growing in confidence, thinking about your future in a hopeful sense.
Matt Darrah (28:09.592)
Right.
Matt Darrah (28:16.632)
Yeah.
Matt Darrah (28:24.738)
Yeah.
Matt Darrah (28:28.404)
Absolutely.
Matt Darrah (28:37.272)
Mm.
Casey Cole Corbin (28:38.651)
Absolutely huge. Yeah.
Matt Darrah (28:40.366)
Yeah. Man, just, like I said, it just makes my heart glad. There's a nonprofit here that works with young women as they turn 18. Then they have a choice. can leave foster care behind and kind of go in their own way, or they can choose to stay in
Casey Cole Corbin (28:48.79)
Yeah.
Matt Darrah (29:09.378)
what they call aftercare, and this nonprofit houses these young ladies, gives them case management, helps them get vehicles and be in school, getting jobs and things like that. But their capacity is limited, but they're actually bringing girls from across the state here because there's so few resources for these young folks when they age out.
Casey Cole Corbin (29:22.422)
Perfect.
Casey Cole Corbin (29:35.051)
Well.
Well, that sounds like that organization that I told you I'd probably start volunteering in the fall is that it was for, here in Georgia, a surprising number of people do not sign out of foster care at 18. In Georgia, it's 75 % actually stay in until they're 21 for resources. So this granting source in the organization kicks in at 21, tries to pick up at that point, and I believe goes to 25.
Matt Darrah (29:55.522)
Yeah. Yeah.
Matt Darrah (30:03.31)
Mm-hmm.
Matt Darrah (30:06.819)
Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (30:07.542)
So they can help with housing because you know that homelessness is huge and rampant or unstable housing in particular with this demographic is really big. You know and if you were seeped in a household in which you know you're 14 and your dad rolls your first marijuana cigarette you know and gives it to you, your your morality is different.
Matt Darrah (30:12.191)
It's Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (30:34.346)
than the normal sitcom family or something you've seen in movies, right? That's a fantasy world and this is the real world in their mind. so criminal behavior picks up and usually a new form of institutionalization kicks in, which is certainly to be avoided.
Matt Darrah (30:42.958)
Yeah.
Matt Darrah (30:56.066)
Yeah, I believe the number in Texas of inmates on death row that were in foster care is like 95%. Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (31:04.118)
God, I mean that should I mean that should stand out to everyone is this is that we need to do something about this. This is not okay. I mean in Georgia I know that every I have a friend that works with what we call Defects here and he would say we're we're right now looking for people and there's an alarming number in Georgia that they didn't have foster homes for these kids to go in.
Matt Darrah (31:29.422)
Mm-hmm.
Casey Cole Corbin (31:30.166)
We're just hiring in eight-hour shifts people to sit with them in hotel rooms while the kids slept and like boy that's a recipe for disaster if I ever heard one. You know, I mean that's god-awful.
Matt Darrah (31:34.53)
Yep. Yeah. Yep.
Matt Darrah (31:45.134)
So if you're talking to somebody, what would you encourage them? We kind of touched on it already, but if you're talking to somebody that says, my heart breaks for these young folks that are aging out of care, what would you tell them to do?
Casey Cole Corbin (32:06.133)
Don't try to fix everything. Most people think, oh, OK, I'm going to go do this thing. we all in our mind, when we start something new, whether consciously or not, go, I'm going to go fix this problem. And you cannot fix the whole problem. But you can do a little bit. And so just do a little. Don't feel like.
Matt Darrah (32:07.756)
Yeah.
Matt Darrah (32:23.234)
Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (32:31.145)
Don't try to put that on yourself, because again, it'll be a non-starter. You just won't start. Have a conversation. Just talk with people. That's hard. And just day to day, ironically, it happened in a gym with me. But part of that was because it was late at night. And part of it was because for some reason, there was a pool of people already there, strangely.
Matt Darrah (32:38.156)
Yeah.
Matt Darrah (32:56.184)
Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (32:58.995)
But there's probably churches, ministries, and nonprofit organizations like yours that would be connecting points.
It's a lot better to come in and just say, I'm going to be me and they're going to be them and we're going to find some common ground as opposed to what I feel like is now a little bit passe in the missions. My mentor is in his 70s and he would train missionaries all over the world. He always liked to say it this way. He did indigenous training for people there and he'd say, instead of this, the big white man
come with the big white man shows up and fixes all the problems right you know that's a that's never worked and so we don't need to take off that mentality with this as well but instead of just just be who you are offer what you got and maybe that's just listening maybe that's maybe it's just maybe it's not tangible stuff at all maybe it's just you know being available to them
Matt Darrah (33:53.752)
Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (34:02.004)
We know that that is huge. In my field, they did two large subsidized studies with lots of people in recovery from substance abuse.
And the number one factor I would, I worked in Christian programs, I worked in, you know, secular programs. I would love to tell you that it's the Christian curriculum, you know, that's in a program. Nope, that didn't even hit the radar. None of that did compared to, there's all these different things that, know, it's like on bar graphs, right? You know, it's all these are real down here. And the one that was way up here was if they had continual connection with their initial counselor. What does that mean? Relationship.
Matt Darrah (34:38.882)
Mmm.
Casey Cole Corbin (34:42.196)
That was the touchstone. That was the person that, you know, I'm on Facebook every weekend. Somebody who was my client 28 years ago is, you know, reaching out to me or something and just saying, Hey, I want you to know I'm doing good or Hey, this is going on. know, whatever is, it's, it's, it's so important that we have that relational connection.
Matt Darrah (34:48.686)
Hmm.
Matt Darrah (35:02.05)
Yeah, right.
Casey Cole Corbin (35:03.078)
is more important than even a meal or a tangible need, think, sometimes. So just your presence matter. So while programs are important, the one that I'm going to be volunteering with in the fall, the one that you run, Matt, but I think proximity is a whole lot more important. The program creates an opportunity for connection and proximity and being there. Yeah.
Matt Darrah (35:11.406)
Mm.
Matt Darrah (35:23.758)
Hmm, yeah.
Matt Darrah (35:29.494)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. Yeah, we're not I mean, you we're we're we're working on a on a on a small we do these emergency placement packages to get them over to get them over the hump just just in that initial crises, right. And then we started the podcast to try to create community and connection around foster and adoptive families.
Casey Cole Corbin (35:43.638)
Love it.
Casey Cole Corbin (35:49.279)
You
Casey Cole Corbin (35:52.886)
Hmm.
Matt Darrah (35:56.806)
all the organizations that do different things, helping that in individual way, but just one person connecting with another person and helping them feel.
connected and in relationship can just make the difference. You didn't start a program and go out and try to fix something. You built a relationship with a few folks and had a positive impact.
Casey Cole Corbin (36:33.3)
Yeah, and I hope that that feels accessible to the listener because everybody can do that.
Matt Darrah (36:37.804)
Yeah, yeah, we can all we can all just, you know, have have have a conversation, you know, and just, you know, invite them, invite them over for Thanksgiving or have a birthday party. mean, nothing, nothing huge and big. Just we do better. say this on the podcast all the time. We do better in community. And and that that goes for foster and adoptive families. That goes with young folks, aging out of care. goes with.
you know, cancer survivors, mean, whoever, whatever your connection point is, we do better when we're connected with others.
Casey Cole Corbin (37:11.67)
I I could cite the name of this study, but it was really cool. You might know it, so jump in at any point. It amazing. There was this, this was a long time ago too, there was this, it was a providence, I think, of Italy. So there's a small Italian community in New York that was just, you where all these people came over and they stayed together and their community was very tight.
Matt Darrah (37:33.954)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (37:37.493)
But they also had all of their, they did a long study with it in every different area of life. Because the thing that stood out with them is they had a very significant reduction in heart disease and reduction of stroke.
Matt Darrah (37:53.891)
Bye.
Wow.
Casey Cole Corbin (37:57.183)
And it was just like a significance, like why this people group? So they studied their diet, which was the same as their relatives over in Italy. But no, they didn't have these significant physical differences. then, know, again, in all areas of life, they studied and they had this, you know, other group that they could contrast it to.
Matt Darrah (38:07.01)
Mm.
Matt Darrah (38:10.894)
Mm.
Matt Darrah (38:23.95)
control group here.
Casey Cole Corbin (38:24.906)
What? Yeah, control is the term. Yeah.
And what they found was, is the thing that made them more healthier, we're just talking physically right now, is that they had such a sense of community. In this community, was people when they were rich, they didn't exploit that or they didn't fan that, they didn't show off, they wanted to be seen as the same as everybody else. When people failed, the community picked them up and took care of them.
Matt Darrah (38:38.232)
No.
Matt Darrah (38:58.222)
Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (38:58.968)
Right? And so, just as someone from like an entrepreneur mindset like I have, is that you could take greater risks knowing that you had a safety net. So you knew your children weren't going to starve if your business venture failed. So you could take risks in life and you risk you get more rewards, right? You know, they become wealthier. But just that internal sense of not being in fear, not being afraid, knowing that your community has you, was
Matt Darrah (39:15.438)
Hmm. Yeah.
Matt Darrah (39:26.574)
Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (39:28.898)
this huge factor that has also resulted in decreased heart attacks and strokes. Isn't that amazing? Community is everything. And we're talking about today a group of people that never had community, most likely. And now they're shoved out and go do this adulting thing without community.
Matt Darrah (39:31.502)
you
Matt Darrah (39:35.586)
Huh. Yeah. Yeah. So, so,
Matt Darrah (39:45.678)
Exactly. Yeah.
Matt Darrah (39:50.51)
you
Right. Man. Yeah, I really think that that just speaks volumes of the importance of having those relationships and those connections. What do you think shifted your mindset through this experience? Was there something that just kind of stood out and said, man, this changed me?
Casey Cole Corbin (40:06.378)
Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (40:16.124)
It sure did. I think that one of the main things that I learned about myself is kind of how, how would I say this, just taking a very humble approach to help produce humility in myself.
and being able to see some tremendous value in these individuals. I mean, I could tell you by name and what they're, know, some just amazing things about these people when you slow down enough to pay attention and listen and experience it and see it for yourself. And that...
Matt Darrah (40:49.038)
Mm-hmm.
Casey Cole Corbin (41:04.854)
You know and we're we defined you know this demographic that we're talking about throughout this whole podcast If you can see that in them you could see it in anybody right, yeah, so that was that was a neat eye-opener for me is just Just just the value that a human being has and that how we need to honor that
Matt Darrah (41:15.5)
Mm-hmm. Mm.
Matt Darrah (41:31.267)
too.
Casey Cole Corbin (41:33.438)
So I guess that's one of the things.
Matt Darrah (41:36.578)
Yeah, no, absolutely. I love it. Well, man, Casey, I really appreciate you coming on and really the heart. mean, yes, you have kind of a professional background for this kind of work, but at the same time, just being a person and just listening to folks around you and just helping build that sense of worth and community is, I just think it's so powerful.
Casey Cole Corbin (42:05.471)
Yeah, think that that is the bigger commission that's on our life than maybe that we see other organizations such as churches and religion kind of pushing. Just being community, To allow people in and take the risk of going in and being accepted into somebody else's.
Matt Darrah (42:20.27)
Mm-hmm.
Matt Darrah (42:27.703)
Mm.
Casey Cole Corbin (42:28.599)
Go to their table, break bread, allow people to come to yours is probably one the most meaningful things that we can do in our life.
Matt Darrah (42:30.978)
Yeah.
Matt Darrah (42:38.744)
Yeah, I agree. if we're, you know, our culture is so much about self, you know, how do I make more money? How do I do this? How do I get that? And, you know, my Keurig's not fast enough. I need it to be faster because I got too much to do. I guess myself doing that, like, I'm just...
Casey Cole Corbin (43:03.359)
Let's go.
Matt Darrah (43:03.438)
know, trudging out of bed and I'm making my coffee and I'm like, my gosh, come on, I need this, I need this. But slowing down enough to be receptive and listen to the needs of somebody else. mean, whether it's a kid aging out of foster care or just somebody you're working with that's going through a hard time, just slowing down enough and caring enough and being open enough to.
to have a relationship with somebody and help them.
Casey Cole Corbin (43:36.408)
It's really good. It's really good. professionally, I've been a part of lot of programs, you know, and a lot of churches have been a part of a lot of programs. Again, I don't mean to diss them because if they're used properly, that can be that what they should be. That should be the, you know, the center of the spoked wheel, you know, place for contact. And then, but they, don't just throw money at a problem. I know, know, homelessness is real big, you know, probably always will be, but you know, most people would just throw some money at homelessness.
Matt Darrah (43:57.891)
Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (44:07.461)
And similarly, this was, oh gosh, 20 years, more than 25 years ago, I used to volunteer at a homeless shelter once a week. And it was about nearly an hour drive there and back and, oh.
What I learned is that I got a little jaded honestly about the average homeless person because when you see him once a week for 10 years, built some really neat relationships with and they would just be...
Matt Darrah (44:27.064)
See you.
Matt Darrah (44:34.452)
Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (44:37.589)
you know, they tell me, you know, how things work and they tell me the scams they run and, know, one of the... And so I used to be one those people that would give money at the interstate to the panhandlers, you the exit. Now I would never, you know, give money. I'd give food or, you know, hey, here's where homeless shelter is or something.
Matt Darrah (44:42.382)
Thank
Matt Darrah (44:50.646)
Yeah, that's right.
Matt Darrah (44:59.918)
you
Casey Cole Corbin (45:01.406)
It's, but that's a lot, that's more like getting in the ditch. It's throwing money. It's, you know, it's okay. We got, you're going to get muddy in doing, if you open yourself up, you know, you're, if open yourself up a little, you're going to get dusty, right? You know, if you get, if you dive in like you did, Matt, you know, you're going to be covered with sewage sometimes.
Matt Darrah (45:05.218)
Yeah.
Matt Darrah (45:13.068)
Yes. Good buddy.
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure. just the just the importance of developing relationships with with folks is just so critical. Well, man, I again, I appreciate you coming on and sharing your experience and just your heart for wanting to help some folks. That's just that to me, it just it's just
Casey Cole Corbin (45:35.413)
Yeah, yeah, agreed.
Matt Darrah (45:50.24)
an example of something that folks could do. We talk all the time, I'll go speak somewhere and say, listen, there's a thousand ways to get involved in foster care that doesn't involve going and getting licensed and bringing kids in. We need that. We definitely need that across the state, across the country. We need more loving homes for these kiddos to go to, but...
Casey Cole Corbin (46:09.793)
Thank
Matt Darrah (46:18.072)
There's also a bunch of other ways that folks can get involved that don't necessarily involve getting licensed. And so we talk about that all the time. so just given an example of real world.
relationship example of making an impact on folks that are nearby. know, just taking the time to stop and listen and, man, having a 23-year-old's first birthday. mean, golly birthday party, that's just terribly sad, but also, you know, what a blessing.
Casey Cole Corbin (46:57.495)
Yeah, yeah, it sure was. There wasn't a thing about it that wasn't a blessing. It was a blessing to my family and my kids and what they were able to do and participate in that. And it was a blessing to him, of course, and his friends that also came over and the group that we talked about. And that might seem scary to some people, but whatever your...
whatever you're willing to open yourself up to do, don't think of this as like a big commitment. And for me, I don't see it as like, it's seasonal for me. It didn't bite off a big, you know, responsibility that I'm now going to continue on doing, you know, rest of my life. So just little yeses that we can say to the problem. That's it. Yeah.
Matt Darrah (47:45.158)
it can make a big difference. It absolutely can make a big difference. Well guys, thanks for listening. Thanks for tuning in. Be sure to like, share and subscribe the episode. Next week we've got Debbie Simmons on. She's got a lot of experience in the foster care world and so I'm excited to have her on. Thanks again to our episode sponsor, Angie Grim over at College Solutions.
for the support that they have given us. And Casey, thank you so much for your time and just willingness to come on and share your experience.
Casey Cole Corbin (48:20.315)
anything I can do to support you, Matt, and all that you're doing in your organization, and trying to help this huge issue. I love it. Thank you for what you do.
Matt Darrah (48:30.146)
Very good. And we'll put links to your class, of course, in our show notes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because we can all use some wisdom around finances. All right, man. Well, thank you guys. Thanks for tuning in. And thanks, Casey, again, for coming on.
Casey Cole Corbin (48:36.425)
Of course, yeah, they have it for free. they could, again, phenomenal speakers in there. mean, just some really great stuff. Yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (48:49.295)
yeah, yeah.
Casey Cole Corbin (48:56.79)
My pleasure bud.
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