The 5-Minute Habit That Changed Everything

https://youtu.be/-ttv1UJLP-A?si=_NzX4Avp3KCyoP2W

Hello and welcome to All Things Foster, a place for coffee, connection, and community. Today we are recording on Podapalooza and so my episodes don't get to go as long and as deep as what we normally do. so it's gonna be a quick time, but Mo, thank you so much for coming on the podcast today and opening up and sharing your story. Thank you so much, Matt. It is an absolute.

Pleasure to be here as we were discussing before before we record. Yeah, so so tell us a little bit about you So i'm now a healthy lifestyle coach, which I help women, over 40 learn how to tap into their Rhythms again, we women get so disconnected from their bodies men, too

But women, because we're trying to do all the things, all the male things in a feminine body. And so we lose touch with our bodies and ourselves and become moms and spouses and corporate moguls or whatever. And we're meant to be rhythmic people, particularly. that's why we have more hormones.

I have a joke about that I won't share here, but there's so many, there's like, and we're trying to do it all. And then we hit our forties and suddenly you feel like, who are you? Why are you, why do you hate me so much? What's with the hot and the cold and the acne? It's like acne or hot flashes, pick one. So I women kind of tap back into that rhythm by repairing their nervous system.

Creating calm and peace in themselves so they can think more clearly respond better to their bodies and just live a better life and so that that so going into the retirement ages They're gonna feel amazing and I'm be out cruises and golfing and doing all the things and not worrying about being in the seniors home Yeah, no, I'm well my my wife might not want me to share this but she's 50 and so she's going through the things and all the things and so it was

You know, she's she's gotten some some things figured out and stuff like that. But it was it was a transition. I will say that. So it was like puberty, right? Yeah, exactly. Like puberty was horrifying. Who would want to go back to puberty? Not me. Thank you very much. So on the other side now at fifty five and it really does feel like freedom. Fifty five. And so understanding and then working with menopause coaches and working with hormone coaches and.

and really coming together to get a full picture of what, how women can have autonomy over their bodies again and not take it out on their husbands. Yeah, I'm right. That's like, that's like you're hired. But it's, it's such a freedom for not just the woman, but everyone. Like I have a client right now and we did this. She's, she did not believe me. She said,

She said, when we started, I thought you're crazy. She goes, I'm going to let you do your thing. And so she got all the way through Christmas. We've been working together for about a couple of months. She dropped 19 pounds. Matt, we hadn't even started talking about nutrition and exercise. We had incorporated a little bit, you know, just kind of like shifting some things around her schedule. But really we focused on getting calm, how she responds to things, how she feels in her body and everything. 19 pounds. And her husband, this is the biggest win. It wasn't even the 19 pounds of lower blood pressure, the lower blood sugar, any of that, which was amazing.

Her husband came to her shortly after Christmas and said, honey, I love you. But and I want you to know this was the best Christmas ever because you weren't freaking out. You were like flying off the handle. You were calm. Her daughter actually asked her if she was on Valium. Wow. I was like, my God, can I get that video? Because all right, because who doesn't want to feel calm? I mean, unless you're a drama mama.

You know, and a lot of women are like, why is this happening? And so that, and so that's why I have, I developed this program that starts with getting the, getting the central nervous system. Cause it's, just impacts everything. It's got a ripple effect for sure. So how did you get into this? Well, well, I was a single mom and, I didn't take care of myself then I lived off of, I never smoked around my baby, but I, you know, I, I,

pretty much survived for the first part of my or the end of my teens beginning my 20s, know coffee and cigarettes and then I found myself in the family way and um, I had my son and you know, I started to clean my act up a little bit but not really anything profound in 1999 I was actually diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. I was still a single mom. Um, and you'd think that maybe that would give me

You know started on the right foot, but it didn't I saw I was like mom I was working full-time, you know, I had to do all the things and I got married and And so I had and then after my last right before my last baby I had a relapse I ended up in the hospital for a week and that was still not much of a wake-up call Because you're just angry and bitter and why me and all the things yeah and

I didn't realize at the time that I was stressed out. I was so short circuited, like short fuse. I snapped all the time. I mean, like when your kids are afraid of you, not in like a hostile way, but you know, like, like, don't upset mom. You look back on that. You're like, what was going on? So after my last baby, I gained a lot of weight. Like I thought I told him to stop telling me.

It's over 65 pounds because I told them, stop telling me how much I was gaining during their pregnancy. I didn't recognize myself. So I got to reel it in. A year later, I felt I just didn't know who I was. I lost touch with myself. I didn't feel myself. I was sluggish. I was tired. And plus, the MS thing is still always simmering in the back of my head. So I said to my then husband, I said, you know,

I got to get in shape. so he gave me a Wii personal EA games personal trainer for Christmas that year. It's only because he said he wanted to in shape and then ran away. But and so I started exercising. So I the only time I could get, you know, I had three kids and running in, you know, 14 different directions. The only time no one want a piece of mommy was at five a.m. So I created my own five a.m. club and I started getting up five a.m. to exercise. But then I realized, wait, this is time for me. Yeah, this is a quiet time.

And so I started to get up and I started journaling and reading and enjoying my coffee and breakfast and solitude and it became a thing. So really, and then it just went, joined the gym and I became a personal trainer. I was a runner. I ran a New York marathon in 2014. If I was running before, there was bear or police involved. I'm just like, I'm just kidding you

It was in Canada, so you could have both at the same time and so but it's because it just comes on right it just you do you people have these epiphany moments and but it what I realized when I started coaching and Seeing how people were showing up for themselves It really was more mirroring like seeing other people living my life that it became More evident like yeah, this is actually works and them telling me how good they feel

them telling me how energized they were. I was feeling it too, but I wasn't paying attention yet. Yeah. And so then it kind of became a calling and I got divorced in 2020, not because of pandemic. I filed two months before, but, but, and then being on my own and having to do everything on my own, I realized I really need to batten things down because I haven't had that real. I haven't had relapse. I've been in remissions since 2006. Wow. 20 years in my.

my MS and the only thing that I can see that why I'm so as healthy as I am. I mean do I look like a sick person? They're not gonna be asking me to be on their cover of MS magazine anytime soon, right? I won't make them any money Is my lifestyle. Yeah, and and so long story longer That mental clarity like creating peace and calm in yourself really getting in touch with your rhythms really understanding why you

You know why you get up in the morning have an intention every day keeping things real simple as simple as you can because life, you know life and but just when you have those small things in place it allows you to live your best life. I don't know I could have a relapse tomorrow. I don't know So it's not but I know what peace creates in a person and how that has that ripple effect not just in your own body, but with everyone around you as well

That was a long way. That was a long way around. No, that's great. So so so where do you where do they start? I mean, what are they where how do they get to where they're like, okay, I'm ready to change something. Yeah, usually. Well, usually one of the. Indicators is. Your doctor tells you fill in the blank, your blood pressure is high, your blood sugar is high, you're pre diabetic, you're diabetic, you know, and you have heart.

You know a heart condition with something and you know, it's a diagnosis and I always say don't wait to be sick to get healthy. Yeah, but it's hard to you know because it's so abstract. Oh, I'll be fine. Let's you know, I'll be fine I can can I can do that later until it's suddenly it's later. Yeah, you're getting the diagnosis so don't wait, but if you do it's okay. It's okay. I mean I have a client who was full diabetic she has been in remission for over six

months now god even longer than it be nine months now. So she is officially no longer diabetic. Yeah You know just through lifestyle. Yeah, she still wants to lose more weight but how we so where do you so so that's the first usually the first when they come to me Is like, okay, I need to do something because I don't want to be this way I don't be like my mom my aunt my grandmother, you know, because when it runs in the family what usually runs in the family is lifestyle Yeah, you know and that leads to the disease and so

I mean, there's genetic markers, but that's another thing. So where you start is finding five minutes a day to calm yourself, to breathe, to take a moment. The best five minutes is first thing in the morning. As soon as you wake up. Soon as you wake up. And it's hard because motivation and getting that first step is the hardest step. It's like a rocket leaving Earth, right?

You're using so much energy to get out of the gravitational pull of the Earth. But once you get past that, then you're feeling like, OK, I can do this. But it's that first that like it was they're talking about earlier. Braden is it's the start that stops most people. I can't remember who said that, but it is. And so small, small, small, small. Start with five minutes. Yeah. Start with five minutes when you wake up in the morning.

Find something to be grateful for. drink eight ounces of water. Now get up and move with purpose. Don't shuffle into the bathroom. Like get up and take a deep breath. Say thank God. I say every morning I say thank God I can see. Thank God I can. My legs are working and thank God I can pee. Because those are all things you can't do with MS I guess I can hold my pee. so I mean, so just finding those small things. Gratitude is such a great place to start. It starts shifting.

how you see things. And that's really, it's the foundation of everything, Matt. I mean, it's like how we perceive the world. Are you a victim or a victor? Yeah. So starting in those five minute actions, I'm certified a nutrition coach with precision nutrition. And that's five minute actions is a huge thing. It's amazing what you can get done in five minutes and five minutes of being still and breathing and calming your nervous system.

before you go on to the next thing. dude, I like had days where I'm like, I think it's like 107 times I've stopped to breathe. You know what? You do what you gotta do. You're just gonna do this, right? But creating that peace inside and taking those five minutes. And because when women try to lose weight and they're nervous system's a mess, you're building on sand. Yeah. Like it's not gonna last. of course I don't come at people and say, we're gonna do your mindset first. And they're like, yeah, moving on.

We got to ease them into it. So two things. So one of the things I started doing, I work with a business coach and one of the things that I'd start with every morning is there's two parts. One is gratitude statements. That's the first thing. Yeah. And then the second is I am statements. Right. So I am valuable. I am loved. I am this or I'm that or whatever. And so starting the day with those two things kind of sets the tone for the rest of the day. Yes.

In this morning when I wrote I was like I am excited to get on PodaPalooza right? mean just have it just saying like okay, you know, this is where I'm at This is what I'm doing. It's yeah, that's the first part and then I don't know if you've read Mel Robbins his book The Let Them Theory right she talks about how difficult that first step is to change right? Yeah, she's kind of coming from the other aspect where

You know, it's the spouse saying, need to do this, you need to do that. And she's saying, hey, you need to take a second to realize that it's very difficult to start. And so, be mindful of the fact that, yes, you want your spouse to be healthy, or you want them to be this or that or whatever, but the change is the hardest part.

and so I just think that that's That that's just so valuable to to be aware of right and yes And yes, and and Mel Robbins is so into that because the five-second rule Mm-hmm like when she said the first time she did it. She was actually watching it speaking of Rockets episode She was watching a rocket five four three two one blast off, right? she said I yeah, that's how can get out of bed in the morning right and she had had like

one or two martinis at this point. And so she goes to bed and she said it was the hardest thing was getting up in the morning. So that morning, five, four, three, two, one. And she got out of bed. goes, she's standing in the middle of her bedroom. She's like, OK, what do I do? Yeah, because change is scary. It's like, OK, like this is weird and it's uncomfortable. And so that's why having like making those really simple steps, just like the two things you do in the morning.

And how does it impact your life? How does it change how you approach your day? Absolutely. Yeah, it's a mental shift, right? We've served fostered adoptive families and I was in the foster care system and I was adopted and it was not a great home environment that I was adopted into. And so you come at life with these negative beliefs. And so, you one of the things my coach was saying like, okay,

Even if you don't believe it, wholly when you write it day after day after day, you begin to internalize it and see it, right? And so, yeah, it makes a huge difference. It's amazing. We talked about it a little bit before, and like I'm a birth mom and it wasn't a...

What it was not usual for my I came on the young as six kids in a Catholic family. And even though I was raised in a loving family. was also told at the same time, like, can't you know, you just you just need someone to come and take care of you. And it's like, wait, are you telling me that you were so loved and that's your travesty? Yes, that is my travesty Poor me. my God. I so loved and adored. It was horrible. But there.

What it comes down to is how do you see yourself? And so, because for me on the flip side, it didn't matter how much others saw me in a certain way, it all came down to how I saw myself. And when we're so disconnected with ourselves, so what you're describing is a way to reconnect with yourself. Making these...

arbitrary, you know, like these random thoughts into something tangible. And you start it with small steps. The biggest failures, "failures" no failure. It's only feedback to show you what works and what doesn't work. But the biggest thing that people do is they try to do everything at once. I'm to up at five a.m. I'm going to go work out. I'm going to have a amazing breakfast, blah, blah, blah and everything. And then two weeks later, you find them in a crumpled heap face down.

Bucket of Haagen-Dazs you know, they're like, I can't do it. was like, OK, we're to start with waking up and one gratitude. And that's it. Yeah. And it's amazing because it's a stairs staircase. know, you you're building. And so no matter where you are in your life, because I have been in the valley, I have been in the dark because my we affectionately refer to them as boo boo number one and boo boo number two, because I got for birth.

pregnant wedlock a second time and that little sweet baby boy who's now 28 and in finance. don't know where you got that. He you know, he that was the last my train of thought. But that was that was like that was a trial. But I always coming back to those small things like and for me it's faith. I don't know if you're a faith based person. Yeah.

Hmm.

You know, so when I was walking in the shadows when I was walking in the darkness and those hard times in my life having that faith and understanding that you're never really alone that has saved me on So many occasions. I can't even speak exactly because when you feel so alone and to pick up a bible or Jesus calling or something or seeing something on instagram that tells you no, you're not alone Yeah, you're exactly where you're meant to be. You're perfectly wonderfully made. We just need to quiet ourselves

Create some peace and be open to receiving and you will see so much beauty in the world and be able to be part of that I know but it's not even easy especially when you hear, know someone about like yourself growing up in a system But look at you now You know, you're doing such great things. It's us I mean he he he gets the credit because I mean it was you know, it was it's been a road, you know

Yeah, I can't even imagine. But I've been so many people like you. One time, not to go on, but my son, we went to a soup kitchen one time through our church and he's and I'm out right on the floor with these guys, you know, lot of them around his age, not much older, you know, teens young, young men. And we're driving home and I said, where do think those guys come from? It like the hood, you know, whatever. was like, I bet a lot of those kids came from.

homes just like yours. they made a bad choice. And now they're, you know, I swear to God, scared him straight. He went into the Marine Corps. But I mean, it's, it's, we have a choice and you're choosing and that's what's so liberating. So that's why I, that's what I try to, to share with people. You have a choice and we all have choice. mean, there's no one with a gun to our head and God forbid, you know,

We have to make a choice and it's in their difficult choices, but you're choosing to do something. I chose to do something with life. I'm an avid fan of pro life. You know, I mean, I've had two babies out of wedlock, four kids all together. Feels like 20 sometimes, you know. And so it's it's you're choosing life, you're choosing peace, you're choosing. There's one. I don't know if you can hear she's clumping around. But it's what we get to choose. And so God bless you for choosing the light.

Yeah, you know, because you could you could have gone that way. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. If you knew my family, his my family story, it's I mean, it has definitely been gotten gotten moving through and and working because I'm telling you, it's it's it's tough. mean, in Texas, the statistic that I've heard is that 95 percent of inmates on death row were in foster care. God.

Yeah, that's heartbreaking. Nationwide, there's over 400,000 kids in foster care. I know it's hard. And the stories, like you said, behind the birth moms, where they came from, how far back it goes. I was 27 when I placed my baby for adoption. I didn't know what to do. I was being pushed.

to alternate measures. I had my sister just said, what about open adoption? so, and in Canada, it's not, you're not exchanging, you're placing a child. But I didn't wanna be a single mom with two kids. I didn't think I could give to them. I just wasn't set up for it. they're a wonderful family. And so I'd love to talk to adopting parents and people.

birth moms and so it's so important to get that message out on both sides of the aisle what it means to be the giver and the receiver. Yeah. Yeah. Like I said before we hit record I want to have you on in a longer longer format conversation. But for now. Yeah. Where do people find you. My my website is up and it's good. It's about to be five minutes from up and running.

So it's momindbodysoul.com and so that should be up by the end of this week You can find them right now. I have it rerouted to my five-minute morning reset. So So if you go to that website, it'll it will get you in contact with me So hopefully fingers crossed my website will be up and running this right now. I get that Well, we'll we'll put links down in the show notes below Thank you Mo for coming on and sharing your your experience

Thanks so much for having me, Matt. This has just been a delight to me, too. And God bless you and God bless you and your work. It's wonderful. Thank you. Well, guys, make sure to like, share, subscribe, all the things. got a lot of good information on here and we want to share it with the world. So thanks and have a good day. Thanks. Thank you.